I got in a fight with my mom today.

I guess it's more of a personal preference when I said to myself that I would never say "I hate you" to my mom..

ugh. I guess the whole dealio was after I got in the car was my Mom said that she never knew that I wanted to go to wilbur wright...even after I mentioned it only every single day for the last 3 weeks that I needed to go there on the 16th to meet with an advisor and register for classes. I sat with them and asked them on which classes I should take first, I freaking studied with them every saturday, and then all of the sudden they want to say that I never asked them about it? And that they never said yes?

Pssssh. Heck no.

*sigh* oh well.

I'm so terrible at this.

I changed my background (finally) but I've been noticing that I suck at everything in life. Blogging would definitely be on the top 100. lolI'm still trying to find a new one...I've never really liked any of them that I've had...:(

Christmas is right around the corner (whoo!) and I'm getting pretty excited about my birthday, which is on the 29th. I am soo freaking determined to have a good birthday this year. Frankly, the last 4 years, have MAJOR BLOWED in the birthday department.

I guess I'm not expecting fireworks on my birthday, or even a couple friends to call me, remember, or get me gifts, or get a party. But some sort of acknowledgment would be nice.

Let's just say, my birthday's usually end up with me crying in the front seat of my sisters car drinking coconut rum straight up in parking lots.

*ahem*

So! Here's a dallop of pledge to myself. I'm not going to take shit from anyone. I'm not going to expect anything. Nada. Nothing. ZIP.




P.S, funny birthday history: ONE birthday, I tried planning my own surprise party, only because it was turning out so terrible, that I convinced my best friend to tell my other friends to 'randomly throw evie a surprise party'. It failed terribly. And it hurt so much more when I knew that my friends weren't my real friends. (except you miss margaroon, forever n' ever!) ANOTHER birthday, (my 10th birthday) I had to kick everyone out of my party, and get in a car because a very close family friend died, we drove to arkansas that night to get to the funeral in the morning. Another birthday, I actually did drink coconut rum with my sister in the car. In the morning my grandma told me she wanted to take me to my favorite restaurant for my birthday, but instead took me to ikea (my least favorite place in the world, lol) and then got in a huge fight with grandpa, making a huge scene where she stomped off, leaving me to go home with my pissed off grandpa. Then, later that night, I was having a party that I threw for myself, and nobody could show up because of a snow blizzard.

chaching.

Oh boy. I haven't blogged in forever.

So, apparently, every single person I know is having a "love" problem. More or less, they're "in love" with somebody that they don't know loves them. Crushes. Or actual love, I don't know, but...

I feel terrible.

I mean, let me say this, I am totally comfortable in my life right now. With almost everything. I'm starting college in January, Christmas is coming (my favorite time of the year) and i'm MOVING OUT in a year and a half. *tic-toc-tic-toc*

Seeing all my friends completely freaking out over these things makes me uncomfortable. This is one of the first/few times I'm ever just plain out simple happy as can be, I have GREAT friends, oh-my-gosh, everyone that i've ever had a problem with EVER is completely resolved, (fine, except two, but I need some SUPER healing there, lol)

I had an amazing time in nashville too. I got to hang out at thunder school, and there was such a strong presence of GOD there that I was totally blown away. And then I realized that my sets at the furnace are NOTHING like that. :(...I mean, to go somewhere for a whole week where everyone in the room is jumping up and down,-yeah, even that 93 year old- you kind of realize what you're missing.

So, resolution: New Songs, and getting closer to God. lol

# 1. Fat people and their skinny jeans.

that's right, I said it.

All fat people secretly want to wear skinny jeans...

AG! The colors!

Okay, so sorry for the colors being weird. But I got it in my head that I could fix my blog, and of course, I failed.

No Tejas for Evie. :(

Turns out,(after my excitement of finding tickets on southwest's website for $160!!) I'm not going to Texas after all.

It's okay. I only started school two weeks early so that I could GO IN DECEMBER, so I wouldn't have to do school while I was there.

It's okay. Me and Marg only planned this since last june so we could go to the sixflags christmas bash STILL using our 2009 season passes.

It's okay I just made JUST ENOUGH money in enough time so I could buy the tickets.

*sigh*

I'm a little dissapointed. I still get to go to nashville in November to go visit my sister and her new hubby. I can get my iPod touch before I go now too, since I don't have to spend my money on a ticket. It always sucks big time when all of these things you were excited about gets twisted around.

There is good part though; One of the major reaons for me not going, is that my parents didn't want me to go til April, (when they're going out of the country) So I could spend two weeks down in the beloved state. TURNS OUT, they said that they would rather just pay for me to go in april. So, I get FREE tickets for april. This also means I can save up some extra money for christmas gifts, whereas I would probably just blow every single cent that I have on that trip. AND, also, I can save more money even so I'll have more spending money in april.

In a way it all works out. Just a big-time-bummer.

:/

Today i'm babysitting again today. 4:30-12 p.m.

Not too excited, but atleast through this I can probably buy my plane ticket to Texas for december, and then start back to square-1 for saving for my iPod touch.

Super sucks.

This made me laugh... a little too hard.

Enjoy :)

60-year-old-creeper

Yeah. I still really really like it, but sometimes it gets a little bit difficult when you do as much as I do *cough cough*

But seriously, I'm up to my nose in all these babysitting job calls i'm getting. It's nice for the money, but i'm definitely noticing some patterns.

One of the most often babysitting jobs, I have a lot of fun, and the kids are really growing on me, and I officially know how every electronic thing in that house works, (that took awhile) BUT, I'm getting terribly creeped out every time I'm there.

At first, me and kids would go sit outside on the porch, and blow bubbles out on the alley. All good, right? Well, unless you got mr. 60-year-old-creeper upstairs, peeking down. We're happily sitting there, and I hear a voice. "Make sure you blow bubbles in Evie's face." huh? I knew he was up there a hour ago, but why would he be paying attention to our conversation?

He started asking me questions like "So, where's Steven and Marie?" (the parents) "When will they be back?" "Are you the babysitter?" I wasn't too creeped out by that, (why should've I been?) I answered carefully, and then shuffled the kids back inside, and locked the door. After all, I was alone for another 7 hours with them. 3 hours later, he knocks on the door, and asks if he can say hi to the four year old through the door (wtf?) Okay. So, I didn't answer. Yeah, In my head I'm going through the million of articles i've seen online of creepy child molesters. haha. Well, anyhoo, that night, my Dad came to pick me up (around midnight) and I walk out on the back porch, and he ran downstairs from his apartment, and said good bye to me. I walked down the rickety stairs, and got in the car, and looked up and he was staring at me from his apartment.

That was two months ago. Ever since then, I'll look into the hallway through the peephole while i'm pacing with the baby, and he's leaning on the wall next to the apartment's door. He lives upstairs. I don't see any other reason, and I think my 'freaking out' is kind of justifiable. I don't go outside with the kids anymore, and I lock all doors till Steven comes home. It works. I'm still okay. But I think i'm going to have to mention it to Marie sometime or another.

:/

October-January=Laziness. After that, my life starts.

Ya know, I kind of wished that I had interesting things to blog about. I have some people that I follow on here, and they can write all day, every day.


My Mom is out for the day, and i'm pretty much hanging out at home, with I, Me, and Myself. :(

I'm honestly freaked out about January. I start drivers ed (Super late!) I start going to Truman, I might actually start working at Target, (I have a friend who could probably get me a job) and I also just have regular school. I don't know how this is all going to work out.

I probably won't be able to go to the furnace as much, I probably won't be able to go to the friendship center AT ALL, I probably won't be able to sit on my butt all day long, and I probably won't be able to, well, sit on my butt all day long.

Crap. Crap. Crap. Crap.

Starting January. My life REALLY starts. Jobs, school. Until I move out til dallas, where I'll STILL work, and STILL be doing school. The rest of my life. (not school, hopefully, haha)

Wish me luck!



Good note: I'm going to Dallas 2nd week of December. :D

Unknown? How am I supposed to think of something witty every time? Pretend please.

So guys, this is pretty exciting news.

First of all, I have *dun dun dun DUUNN!!* fallen back in love with reading. I've been getting jealous of people reading their darn books around me.

Second of all, I had the craziest dream ever last night... :/

Note on the first wonderful news: We have 16 bookshelves in our whole entire house, and I feel like i've read every single interesting book. I've been crawling in crawl spaces, and been trying to find new books. I'm out of luck.

Note on the second wonderful bit of news: I'll just post my dream super quick.

Uh, wait. Background first. When 9/11 happened, I was 8 years old. Planes got louder, and it honestly freaked me out. With my Mom's good natured "The-end-of-the-world-is-near-we're-all-going-to-die-but-that's-fine-because-it'll-be-fun" speech, I was terrified that one of those planes was going to crash right bang in the middle over me, and there they would find me, dead.

Every time I would hear a loud plane, I was literally sit there with my hands over my ears and ask sweet Jesus to 'forgive me and to please let me into heaven.' (If you've ever feared death, I think you know the precise two second prayer)

So, anyhoo. My dream:
I was at the prayer furnace (my church) and it was a big night with a lot of people there. Me and my friend decided to go outside and take a walk. Two other friends asked if they could join, so we all started walking outside. I heard the plane, and looked up, and about a block ahead of the church, there was a plane diving, nose-down, smoke billowing everywhere. I freaked out. I knew that we should start running because the fire (or something) would start going towards us, but the other two friends decided that we shouldn't care, and just watch. I heard it crash, and then the whole entire church blew up, and ended up as just a sooty piled mess. Me and my friend started running over because our families were in there, and we were sure that they died. :( So, as we were running in, the church was rebuilt, it was like magic. (haha) and everything was perfectly perfect, except for the front of the church. Everyone inside was fine, and everyone didn't even know what happened. They kept on looking like lil' birdies poking up their heads, muttering, "What was that?" or "Man, that was weird."

Okay. Weird dream right? I was frightened silly when I woke up. It was a 5 minute dream. (I dreamt it between hitting the snooze button) Craaazzzzyyy.

Well. Whoever read this, I love ya. (I think)

*puts hands over ears and hums*

Okay. Another complaining blog post.

I HATE HATE HATE when people throw God in my face. Yes. I'm a Christian. Yes. I love God. But I hate when I tell my family something i'm excited for, and they use it against me in the worst ways.

It's undeniable that I suck at math, and that's the whole reason Math came up. I took my Algebra 2 test, and I got 5 wrong out of 25. Of course I think I'm brilliant; of course my parents think I failed.

So, my parents start doing the parental blithering, they come out with the phrase "I notice that you don't apply yourself."

So, I burst into tears at this point.

I was kind of hoping that I would miraculously faint, and have to be rushed to the hospital in a rush, and then maybe we could just forget about the whole thing.

My Dad threw something in my face that I wasn't expecting. He KNOWS that I really love worship leading, and that's what I want to do, but he told me "A real worship leader is always looking for God's approval...Which means honoring your parents. Which you're not doing, which is a sin."

OUCH!



In the last two days I have only thought of how much I'm sick of life. I'm not happy at all about what's going on, I feel like everything has a big fat red denied stamp on it, and there is no other options.

I told my friend this, and she said that I "Just started running, don't quit now." I needed that. I need that.

I just need some basic, life necessities. AND, I need a math tutor. haha.

Truman College

Okay.

So, if you've heard ANYTHING I've been saying lately, I've discovered that I really want to go to Christ for the nations down in Dallas, the second I graduate high school.

My plan was to do the 3 year course of that, and then go on to the midwifery school for another two years in the Fort. Worth area. Then I could do 5 years, of two things I absolutely am super interested in.

I knew the second I would tell my sister Sarah, there would be hell. Even though it's in a year, I thought I should tell her.

I know that if I tell her about any 'future plans' she'll talk me out of it, and try to tell me how I could do things the best way possible. In a way I hate it, but in another way, I try to accept this instruction in any way possible, because I know I'll mess up something big time if I don't.

So, I told her last night, and she said that that wouldn't help me at all in life, and that I should really look into my REAL goal, midwifery. "Do that first, and then go to Christ for the nations, if you really want to" I REALLY want to go Christ for the nations, and I thought as midwifery to be something secondary.

After a LONG discussion, we have decided that I probably should go ahead and get my nursing degree. It's not mandatory to get a nursing degree, for getting your midwifery certificate, (At least not in Texas and Illinois) but we thought that could better secure any future jobs that I have.

SO! What's going to happen, is in January, I'm starting Truman college (Ghetto 300 student community college, oh, and CHEAP!) I'm going to take one class per semester. I'll be able to finish any requirements in Math, Chem, and Bio, then, when I'm all graduated and spiffy I'm going to move down to Dallas, and do Christ for the nations. During the summer, (if possible) I'll continue with my 'one class' plan. Once I'm graduated from that, I think I'll go and while I'm spending those two years for Midwifery school, I'll continue throwing credit hours (from my nursing degree) Into the crock pot.

That will be, (I suppose) around 7 YEARS OF SCHOOLING (ick ick ick ick ick) but something cheap. It's all stuff that I think will help me in life. If I start now, I'll finish when I'm 23.

I don't know. I still gotta think about it. But I'll do it. I'll finish with 1. A nursing degree. 2. Advanced Diploma in Practical Theology (Worship and Technical Arts) 3. Midwifery certificate.

Whew. It's going to be a long couple of years.

complain-y complainer

Have you ever heard someone say "I absolutely hate when someone complains!"

Okay, so we've all heard that before, (we've all probably said it too)

What is the big issue about complaining? Why does everyone hate it so much?

A couple days ago, I ran into target to get something, and while I was checking out, this ginormous black dude (I'm 5'11...if he's ginormous to me, just think how ginormous he is in lil' short Chicago) was my cashier.

Nicest cashier I ever met. We carried on a conversation after I checked out, since nobody else was in line, and one thing that he said that I haven't forgotten was "I don't know why everyone has to complain so much, we should just be happy to be alive, and have a roof over our heads, isn't that enough?"

If I didn't say it myself so often, I would ask the "duh! OF COURSE!" question; "Didn't you realize that saying 'I hate when people complain' is complaining?"

I think it gives a super sense of satisfaction in our own lives when we say it...one of those smug thought processes we think to our self...telling yourself that "Thank God I'm not a complainer" . When people complain towards you, it's almost like this fake-but-almost-real burden they just oozed out on you.

"Oh, What's the right thing to say? Sure, you follow the model social exceptions: you nod, -pretending you care- and say so apologetically "I'm sorry, that always sucks when that happens." or "I know how that feels"

Unfortunately, complaining will always stick to us. Either complaining to ourselves, or complaining to other people, or maybe even people complaining to us.

We are, at heart, complain-ee complainers. Which, you know, can sometimes be a good thing...




Okay. I don't know where the crap that post came from. But I've been laughing about it for the last couple days, and thought I should complain about how people complain. So there.

As you can probably tell:

As you guys can see, I have officially changed my name, url, title, yadda yadda yadda...

I was getting sick of explaining my old one, and this one is easier. TA DA.

You are now informed.