"would you appreciate this?"

ON THE way home from Costco today, It was snowing/raining/spitting ice cubes. We were at the red light, and there was this old guy. I don't know, 60-70 years old, and he was walking knee deep in ice-spittle. He was holding the same old sign, saying the same old usual stuff "Hungry, Cold, I'll take ANY FOOD, God bless."

My whole entire family is very *ahem* stubborn about the whole entire, giving-hard-earned-money-to-fake-homeless-men, thing. I've never really thought about actually giving my money away, but today, while I was looking at that guy, I really felt bad. I mean, yeah; that could totally be a dollop of hoax up my alley...But, okay. So, I'm going to say this, I don't like saying it only because it sounds so cliche, and everything else, but! What Would Jesus Do? (Gah! Guilt!!)

That phrase is like a open tube of super vaseline in your purse, it just bursts in the middle and starts squeezing everywhere, and of course there is thing you can do about it. It's everywhere. There's no water, hand sanitizer, soap, nothing, that could actually take it off of your uber cool wallet. (I guess that's saying if you're a Jesus believer, you know, the real ones? Not the 'yeah-I-believe-in-Jesus-but-I'm-going-act-like-a-real-biznatch-because-i-mean-who-really-cares-anyways-? kind of Jesus believers?)

Would Jesus jump out of that car, wrap his new puff-jacket around the homeless man, and give him the apple pie in the trunk? Asking him in his voice-that-calms-storms if he has anywhere to go for Christmas, then putting him in the backseat of the car, and stopping at dunkin' donuts for a hot cocoa? (The answer is: HECK YES! HECK TO THE YES!) What kind of Christians are we, if we don't have Jesus' heart for his people? What are we showing to other people? Yeah. Christians are messed up to the 34938 degree. We gots sum issues.

Okay. So, this guy could of been Mr. druggie/drunkie. I get that. That doesn't mean I don't take the chance to not show him Jesus.

No, that doesn't mean you hand him a 20, and yell JESUS LOVES YOU! REPENT! And drive off...(the very least you could pray for them..)

FYI: I handed him $2. It's what I had in my wallet. I wished him Happy Holidays. The End.



God, thank you for vaseline in the heart. Thank you God that some things never go away in my heart, and just seem to stick to everything I do. (Even my wallet, yes)

(disclaimer: Okay. This has been preached in EVERY CHURCH IN AMERICA, WRITTEN ON EVERY CHRISTIAN BLOG, Etc, Etc,.. I know. Not very original, but It really was legit in my heart today.)


New resolution: Give money, to every homeless person I see, if I have it with me.

Oh, isn't this just swell.

Dear T-mobile,

I hate you with a fiery passion.

Love,
Evie

P.S. I love your customer service. Good job! Keep it up!

************************

I think that is precisely my problem. Me and my Dad call up customer care, to figure out the cell phone situation (we finally get our upgrades) We talk to sugary-sweet-southern ladies, and they tell us exactly what needs to happen.

In the end, (after much complaining from my Dad) they told us they couldn't do anything for us. We couldn't get any of the phones for under $100. Since I'm on the phone with them on speaker phone, my Dad takes the phone from me, and tells them in a *ahem* ..threatening voice, "Thanks for rewarding our 5 years of payment to you guys!!" So, I take the phone back, and say "Happy Holidays!" ..And hang up the phone.

Ha.

*sip* ahhh.

Nintendo, haircuts, and giordanos. :) My day. Three words. Beat that.

In 6 days it's Christmas. I don't remember how it is was 6 days before christmas last year. But, i'm sure it doesn't compare to this...This year, actually, wasn't that bad. After I got through the major icky-sucky-icky days from last year (which officially ended at the end of December) Life hasn't been half bad.

Anyways.

Christmas wrapping tonight, I think Jess and Matt are coming tonight (sister and hubby) yay!

Sleeping bag

Yesterday, I got my nicest winter jacket...ever.

I guess I was kind of going for a more traditional kind of warm pea-coat sort of thing.

Yeah, that didn't happen.


After much dismay, of looking through the racks upon racks of peacoats -and not finding anything that I liked- I finally decided to go for the sleeping bag look. I really wanted a hood (hey, it gets cold in Chicago, and I wanted to look all 'sweehheet-in-yo-eskimo-face' kind of way. :) Well, anyway, here I am, in Burlington coat factory, crawling between all of the racks, trying on every single one, and running excitedly to the mirror (I really felt like I was in the say yes to the coat tv show) to see if that truly, indeed was 'the one'.

Anyways, I got one. It's down, it's warm, it's black, it's cute as all get-out.


ALSO:

Update on the prayer furnace israel set.

Yeah. I know. I suck at it...worship leading, co/leading, singing, playing piano, anything else you want to call it, I'm not the best. Yeah. The last couple of times of leading, I totally bombed it...I swear. It is one of the most challenging things, I have ever done in my whole life, you are humble-fied/smack-ified every single time you do it, you get to see people's reactions in ways that you never thought would even hit/hurt you as bad as they did. (really, ouch!) I'm already half-way done with my first of year of worship leading, and you know, honestly, I thought I would already be amazing. I thought I would have everything down sooo perfect, that everyone else would be amazed.
Ha! God proved me wrong.

• Thank you God, that everything is in your plan, and that I almost never stick to all of my plans. Thank you Jesus for having a purpose and place for every single that that has been given to me, and everything that has happened to me.

Christmas gifts

Well. Tis the season to give gifts. So. I officially got everyone's Christmas gifts! (yay me!) This year was almost too easy, I ordered everything off the Internet, and just had fun with it.

I got everyone some super sweet gifts too, if I do say so myself. :)

OH! And, tonight I get to get a new winter coat! Yay! I've been trying to pull off the sweatshirt and fleece north face jacket. I don't think I can pretend any longer that it actually is warm. Some things you just need to spend your money on. Haha

This week I've been practicing a lot on the piano, and I'm really hoping that the Israel set goes good tomorrow. I'm so ready to get out of the major stump I've been in. I mean, i'm more embarrassed that I keep on messing up so bad. I should be better at this. *sigh* I gotta be good at something!! lol... I love my team though. They are soo my favorite people ever. And I have only been thrown bucket-fulls of super-grace. Tomorrow is a new day, and if I really focus (and don't have any weirdo sound problems) I think everything should go pretty good! --pray for me. :/

official!

I officially like my new blog template/layout thing a magic!

yay!

I think, I also, 'officially' might get back to blogging everyday. Hold me accountable guys. :)

*whew*

I THINK i'm going to call-age. Now it's not going to be mondays and wednesdays, but instead saturdays. With a crazy professor, who is in love with cats..(according to ratemyprofessor.com) Tomorrow is ANOTHER nasty COMPASS test. (aka, placement test) and some weird student orientation. Then, job finding time.

:/

I got in a fight with my mom today.

I guess it's more of a personal preference when I said to myself that I would never say "I hate you" to my mom..

ugh. I guess the whole dealio was after I got in the car was my Mom said that she never knew that I wanted to go to wilbur wright...even after I mentioned it only every single day for the last 3 weeks that I needed to go there on the 16th to meet with an advisor and register for classes. I sat with them and asked them on which classes I should take first, I freaking studied with them every saturday, and then all of the sudden they want to say that I never asked them about it? And that they never said yes?

Pssssh. Heck no.

*sigh* oh well.

I'm so terrible at this.

I changed my background (finally) but I've been noticing that I suck at everything in life. Blogging would definitely be on the top 100. lolI'm still trying to find a new one...I've never really liked any of them that I've had...:(

Christmas is right around the corner (whoo!) and I'm getting pretty excited about my birthday, which is on the 29th. I am soo freaking determined to have a good birthday this year. Frankly, the last 4 years, have MAJOR BLOWED in the birthday department.

I guess I'm not expecting fireworks on my birthday, or even a couple friends to call me, remember, or get me gifts, or get a party. But some sort of acknowledgment would be nice.

Let's just say, my birthday's usually end up with me crying in the front seat of my sisters car drinking coconut rum straight up in parking lots.

*ahem*

So! Here's a dallop of pledge to myself. I'm not going to take shit from anyone. I'm not going to expect anything. Nada. Nothing. ZIP.




P.S, funny birthday history: ONE birthday, I tried planning my own surprise party, only because it was turning out so terrible, that I convinced my best friend to tell my other friends to 'randomly throw evie a surprise party'. It failed terribly. And it hurt so much more when I knew that my friends weren't my real friends. (except you miss margaroon, forever n' ever!) ANOTHER birthday, (my 10th birthday) I had to kick everyone out of my party, and get in a car because a very close family friend died, we drove to arkansas that night to get to the funeral in the morning. Another birthday, I actually did drink coconut rum with my sister in the car. In the morning my grandma told me she wanted to take me to my favorite restaurant for my birthday, but instead took me to ikea (my least favorite place in the world, lol) and then got in a huge fight with grandpa, making a huge scene where she stomped off, leaving me to go home with my pissed off grandpa. Then, later that night, I was having a party that I threw for myself, and nobody could show up because of a snow blizzard.

chaching.

Oh boy. I haven't blogged in forever.

So, apparently, every single person I know is having a "love" problem. More or less, they're "in love" with somebody that they don't know loves them. Crushes. Or actual love, I don't know, but...

I feel terrible.

I mean, let me say this, I am totally comfortable in my life right now. With almost everything. I'm starting college in January, Christmas is coming (my favorite time of the year) and i'm MOVING OUT in a year and a half. *tic-toc-tic-toc*

Seeing all my friends completely freaking out over these things makes me uncomfortable. This is one of the first/few times I'm ever just plain out simple happy as can be, I have GREAT friends, oh-my-gosh, everyone that i've ever had a problem with EVER is completely resolved, (fine, except two, but I need some SUPER healing there, lol)

I had an amazing time in nashville too. I got to hang out at thunder school, and there was such a strong presence of GOD there that I was totally blown away. And then I realized that my sets at the furnace are NOTHING like that. :(...I mean, to go somewhere for a whole week where everyone in the room is jumping up and down,-yeah, even that 93 year old- you kind of realize what you're missing.

So, resolution: New Songs, and getting closer to God. lol

# 1. Fat people and their skinny jeans.

that's right, I said it.

All fat people secretly want to wear skinny jeans...

AG! The colors!

Okay, so sorry for the colors being weird. But I got it in my head that I could fix my blog, and of course, I failed.

No Tejas for Evie. :(

Turns out,(after my excitement of finding tickets on southwest's website for $160!!) I'm not going to Texas after all.

It's okay. I only started school two weeks early so that I could GO IN DECEMBER, so I wouldn't have to do school while I was there.

It's okay. Me and Marg only planned this since last june so we could go to the sixflags christmas bash STILL using our 2009 season passes.

It's okay I just made JUST ENOUGH money in enough time so I could buy the tickets.

*sigh*

I'm a little dissapointed. I still get to go to nashville in November to go visit my sister and her new hubby. I can get my iPod touch before I go now too, since I don't have to spend my money on a ticket. It always sucks big time when all of these things you were excited about gets twisted around.

There is good part though; One of the major reaons for me not going, is that my parents didn't want me to go til April, (when they're going out of the country) So I could spend two weeks down in the beloved state. TURNS OUT, they said that they would rather just pay for me to go in april. So, I get FREE tickets for april. This also means I can save up some extra money for christmas gifts, whereas I would probably just blow every single cent that I have on that trip. AND, also, I can save more money even so I'll have more spending money in april.

In a way it all works out. Just a big-time-bummer.

:/

Today i'm babysitting again today. 4:30-12 p.m.

Not too excited, but atleast through this I can probably buy my plane ticket to Texas for december, and then start back to square-1 for saving for my iPod touch.

Super sucks.

This made me laugh... a little too hard.

Enjoy :)

60-year-old-creeper

Yeah. I still really really like it, but sometimes it gets a little bit difficult when you do as much as I do *cough cough*

But seriously, I'm up to my nose in all these babysitting job calls i'm getting. It's nice for the money, but i'm definitely noticing some patterns.

One of the most often babysitting jobs, I have a lot of fun, and the kids are really growing on me, and I officially know how every electronic thing in that house works, (that took awhile) BUT, I'm getting terribly creeped out every time I'm there.

At first, me and kids would go sit outside on the porch, and blow bubbles out on the alley. All good, right? Well, unless you got mr. 60-year-old-creeper upstairs, peeking down. We're happily sitting there, and I hear a voice. "Make sure you blow bubbles in Evie's face." huh? I knew he was up there a hour ago, but why would he be paying attention to our conversation?

He started asking me questions like "So, where's Steven and Marie?" (the parents) "When will they be back?" "Are you the babysitter?" I wasn't too creeped out by that, (why should've I been?) I answered carefully, and then shuffled the kids back inside, and locked the door. After all, I was alone for another 7 hours with them. 3 hours later, he knocks on the door, and asks if he can say hi to the four year old through the door (wtf?) Okay. So, I didn't answer. Yeah, In my head I'm going through the million of articles i've seen online of creepy child molesters. haha. Well, anyhoo, that night, my Dad came to pick me up (around midnight) and I walk out on the back porch, and he ran downstairs from his apartment, and said good bye to me. I walked down the rickety stairs, and got in the car, and looked up and he was staring at me from his apartment.

That was two months ago. Ever since then, I'll look into the hallway through the peephole while i'm pacing with the baby, and he's leaning on the wall next to the apartment's door. He lives upstairs. I don't see any other reason, and I think my 'freaking out' is kind of justifiable. I don't go outside with the kids anymore, and I lock all doors till Steven comes home. It works. I'm still okay. But I think i'm going to have to mention it to Marie sometime or another.

:/

October-January=Laziness. After that, my life starts.

Ya know, I kind of wished that I had interesting things to blog about. I have some people that I follow on here, and they can write all day, every day.


My Mom is out for the day, and i'm pretty much hanging out at home, with I, Me, and Myself. :(

I'm honestly freaked out about January. I start drivers ed (Super late!) I start going to Truman, I might actually start working at Target, (I have a friend who could probably get me a job) and I also just have regular school. I don't know how this is all going to work out.

I probably won't be able to go to the furnace as much, I probably won't be able to go to the friendship center AT ALL, I probably won't be able to sit on my butt all day long, and I probably won't be able to, well, sit on my butt all day long.

Crap. Crap. Crap. Crap.

Starting January. My life REALLY starts. Jobs, school. Until I move out til dallas, where I'll STILL work, and STILL be doing school. The rest of my life. (not school, hopefully, haha)

Wish me luck!



Good note: I'm going to Dallas 2nd week of December. :D

Unknown? How am I supposed to think of something witty every time? Pretend please.

So guys, this is pretty exciting news.

First of all, I have *dun dun dun DUUNN!!* fallen back in love with reading. I've been getting jealous of people reading their darn books around me.

Second of all, I had the craziest dream ever last night... :/

Note on the first wonderful news: We have 16 bookshelves in our whole entire house, and I feel like i've read every single interesting book. I've been crawling in crawl spaces, and been trying to find new books. I'm out of luck.

Note on the second wonderful bit of news: I'll just post my dream super quick.

Uh, wait. Background first. When 9/11 happened, I was 8 years old. Planes got louder, and it honestly freaked me out. With my Mom's good natured "The-end-of-the-world-is-near-we're-all-going-to-die-but-that's-fine-because-it'll-be-fun" speech, I was terrified that one of those planes was going to crash right bang in the middle over me, and there they would find me, dead.

Every time I would hear a loud plane, I was literally sit there with my hands over my ears and ask sweet Jesus to 'forgive me and to please let me into heaven.' (If you've ever feared death, I think you know the precise two second prayer)

So, anyhoo. My dream:
I was at the prayer furnace (my church) and it was a big night with a lot of people there. Me and my friend decided to go outside and take a walk. Two other friends asked if they could join, so we all started walking outside. I heard the plane, and looked up, and about a block ahead of the church, there was a plane diving, nose-down, smoke billowing everywhere. I freaked out. I knew that we should start running because the fire (or something) would start going towards us, but the other two friends decided that we shouldn't care, and just watch. I heard it crash, and then the whole entire church blew up, and ended up as just a sooty piled mess. Me and my friend started running over because our families were in there, and we were sure that they died. :( So, as we were running in, the church was rebuilt, it was like magic. (haha) and everything was perfectly perfect, except for the front of the church. Everyone inside was fine, and everyone didn't even know what happened. They kept on looking like lil' birdies poking up their heads, muttering, "What was that?" or "Man, that was weird."

Okay. Weird dream right? I was frightened silly when I woke up. It was a 5 minute dream. (I dreamt it between hitting the snooze button) Craaazzzzyyy.

Well. Whoever read this, I love ya. (I think)

*puts hands over ears and hums*

Okay. Another complaining blog post.

I HATE HATE HATE when people throw God in my face. Yes. I'm a Christian. Yes. I love God. But I hate when I tell my family something i'm excited for, and they use it against me in the worst ways.

It's undeniable that I suck at math, and that's the whole reason Math came up. I took my Algebra 2 test, and I got 5 wrong out of 25. Of course I think I'm brilliant; of course my parents think I failed.

So, my parents start doing the parental blithering, they come out with the phrase "I notice that you don't apply yourself."

So, I burst into tears at this point.

I was kind of hoping that I would miraculously faint, and have to be rushed to the hospital in a rush, and then maybe we could just forget about the whole thing.

My Dad threw something in my face that I wasn't expecting. He KNOWS that I really love worship leading, and that's what I want to do, but he told me "A real worship leader is always looking for God's approval...Which means honoring your parents. Which you're not doing, which is a sin."

OUCH!



In the last two days I have only thought of how much I'm sick of life. I'm not happy at all about what's going on, I feel like everything has a big fat red denied stamp on it, and there is no other options.

I told my friend this, and she said that I "Just started running, don't quit now." I needed that. I need that.

I just need some basic, life necessities. AND, I need a math tutor. haha.

Truman College

Okay.

So, if you've heard ANYTHING I've been saying lately, I've discovered that I really want to go to Christ for the nations down in Dallas, the second I graduate high school.

My plan was to do the 3 year course of that, and then go on to the midwifery school for another two years in the Fort. Worth area. Then I could do 5 years, of two things I absolutely am super interested in.

I knew the second I would tell my sister Sarah, there would be hell. Even though it's in a year, I thought I should tell her.

I know that if I tell her about any 'future plans' she'll talk me out of it, and try to tell me how I could do things the best way possible. In a way I hate it, but in another way, I try to accept this instruction in any way possible, because I know I'll mess up something big time if I don't.

So, I told her last night, and she said that that wouldn't help me at all in life, and that I should really look into my REAL goal, midwifery. "Do that first, and then go to Christ for the nations, if you really want to" I REALLY want to go Christ for the nations, and I thought as midwifery to be something secondary.

After a LONG discussion, we have decided that I probably should go ahead and get my nursing degree. It's not mandatory to get a nursing degree, for getting your midwifery certificate, (At least not in Texas and Illinois) but we thought that could better secure any future jobs that I have.

SO! What's going to happen, is in January, I'm starting Truman college (Ghetto 300 student community college, oh, and CHEAP!) I'm going to take one class per semester. I'll be able to finish any requirements in Math, Chem, and Bio, then, when I'm all graduated and spiffy I'm going to move down to Dallas, and do Christ for the nations. During the summer, (if possible) I'll continue with my 'one class' plan. Once I'm graduated from that, I think I'll go and while I'm spending those two years for Midwifery school, I'll continue throwing credit hours (from my nursing degree) Into the crock pot.

That will be, (I suppose) around 7 YEARS OF SCHOOLING (ick ick ick ick ick) but something cheap. It's all stuff that I think will help me in life. If I start now, I'll finish when I'm 23.

I don't know. I still gotta think about it. But I'll do it. I'll finish with 1. A nursing degree. 2. Advanced Diploma in Practical Theology (Worship and Technical Arts) 3. Midwifery certificate.

Whew. It's going to be a long couple of years.

complain-y complainer

Have you ever heard someone say "I absolutely hate when someone complains!"

Okay, so we've all heard that before, (we've all probably said it too)

What is the big issue about complaining? Why does everyone hate it so much?

A couple days ago, I ran into target to get something, and while I was checking out, this ginormous black dude (I'm 5'11...if he's ginormous to me, just think how ginormous he is in lil' short Chicago) was my cashier.

Nicest cashier I ever met. We carried on a conversation after I checked out, since nobody else was in line, and one thing that he said that I haven't forgotten was "I don't know why everyone has to complain so much, we should just be happy to be alive, and have a roof over our heads, isn't that enough?"

If I didn't say it myself so often, I would ask the "duh! OF COURSE!" question; "Didn't you realize that saying 'I hate when people complain' is complaining?"

I think it gives a super sense of satisfaction in our own lives when we say it...one of those smug thought processes we think to our self...telling yourself that "Thank God I'm not a complainer" . When people complain towards you, it's almost like this fake-but-almost-real burden they just oozed out on you.

"Oh, What's the right thing to say? Sure, you follow the model social exceptions: you nod, -pretending you care- and say so apologetically "I'm sorry, that always sucks when that happens." or "I know how that feels"

Unfortunately, complaining will always stick to us. Either complaining to ourselves, or complaining to other people, or maybe even people complaining to us.

We are, at heart, complain-ee complainers. Which, you know, can sometimes be a good thing...




Okay. I don't know where the crap that post came from. But I've been laughing about it for the last couple days, and thought I should complain about how people complain. So there.

As you can probably tell:

As you guys can see, I have officially changed my name, url, title, yadda yadda yadda...

I was getting sick of explaining my old one, and this one is easier. TA DA.

You are now informed.

Running: Day three. (OH, Carolina Girl!)

I have officially! started the C25K program. If you don't know what it is, Its this great free program, which practically makes you being able to not-being-able-to-run-at-all kind of person (Which I totally am, unfortunately,) to run 3 miles after 9 weeks.

Skinny people who love running, please don't scoff while I am so excited about being able to run a sad, 3 miles... (Or even 4 blocks!!! LOL)I have never been able to run, and I think this is a great opportunity to my 3 month plan! :)

I've been hearing about it for a long time from Carolina Girl, and I never really thought twice about it, but then all of the sudden I had a notion to go look into it, and man I'm excited. Today was day one, and I'm so excited about it.

It might actually work!!!

So, thanks be to Carolina Girl, oh, and of course 3FC. :)

3 month plan: Rehab?

Yesterday was the new start of a new me.

I made myself a new plan; I'm calling it the 3 month plan...Maybe I'll write some religious book in the future, and be the new Joyce Myers.

Ho-hum.

I have decided I'm not exactly proud of myself on a lot of different things, as are many people. So, I would say a 3 month plan, is almost a commitment to myself (hopefully) ending in a victory.

I was imagining all the wondrous things that needed to be changed about me...Sure, I might want to be a size 2, I might secretly want to have a cigarette-sexy voice, and yes, I might want to have a super hot guy fall in love with me.

Realistically, it all won't happen.

I could technically starve myself for 3 years, smoke 2 packs a day, and live the ultimate soap opera. But how realistic is that?

I literally sat down, and thought about it. I won't type out ever single thing I would love to change about myself, but there is some major ones I would absolutely love to be/have.

One: School. I'm in my junior year of high school, I started two weeks ago, and already I'm struggling. I've always really enjoying anything to do with literature, English, and history. But today I realized when I was doing an Algebra problem, how frustrated I got with it. I didn't understand it, and it bugged me. How great would it be if I could be great at school, rather than barely passing in every subject I'm not interested in?

Two: Social. That means: I have realized that everybody isn't the happy go-lucky person I expect them to be. In the last couple years, I've had GREAT friends wherever I went, and they always made me feel really loved, and always made me laugh. Well, unfortunately lots of my friends have moved away this fall...and I, seeking friends, started going other places...It's been hard adjusting? To a new 'brand' of friends. I would always think of others having to change how they were with friends. But now I realize that I'm the only one like me in this new group. Not necessarily a bad thing. But boy-oh-boy, am I out of the crowd. I guess what I'm saying is that I cant 'expect' people to be a friend like I am.

Three: Losing weight. I know, this is one thing that every girl obsesses over, but I'm sick of being unhealthy. Unfortunately, I'm one of the few people who actually have to worry about it. I'm 35-40 lbs overweight. In three months, If I REALLY work at it, hey, I could totally be rockin'.

Four: Really, really work on getting closer to God.
That means: Spending more time with him, fasting, praying, actually reading my bible, heck, even playing piano.

Five: My mad skills. That means: I just want to be really freakin' awesome at playing piano, and singing. How much more frank can I get? Since being semi-involved at the furnace, I've realized that I probably am not as good as I thought as I was. I guess I want to be good as I thought as I was. It's going to be a long ladder, my friend.

So. Three months. Margie is going to be here. Friends are coming back for Winter break. It's going to be my sweet 16th, and hopefully, this won't go all down the drain.

I guess the real reason for me writing this, and showing the world, is that I hope and pray that I'll be able to call this a victory. Yeah, a freaking big one. If I'm actually able to accomplish all 5 things, It should have it's own episode debut on that old TV show It's a miracle... And you know it too!

cleverness.

It's saturday, once again, and i'm realizing how fast my life is rushing by.

I have had SO MUCH happen in the last 9 months, it's astounding. But It doesn't even seem like it has been that long. I'm seriously taking one day at a time. (I know, how quote-ish) My days go by super fast, and when I hit that pillow at night, I think "Didn't I just do this a couple minutes ago?" I'm super happy about lots of things that have been happening to me. Yes, there has been some very crappy parts, but hey, they're over now. I'm happy with myself right now. (Haven't felt that way in a long time) I'm happy with my friends, i'm happy with lots of the decisions, (trust me, i'm surprised that I make decisions too) and well, just plain happy!!! lol

Thought I should mention, I was the prayer furnace yesterday, and it was my turn to do a hour long worship set, so I got up there, and all of the sudden, I realized my voice completley failed on me, and so I was sitting up there just playing piano, and I had 55 minutes left of set. What do you do then? I decided to invited all whoppin 4 people in the room to come up and read whatever bible scripture was on their heart.
Well, I had one after the other of people come up...it turned out to be this really great prayer set. It morphed into prayer for the bride. This one guy came up (who I haven't even seen before at the furnace) and he prayed out of genesis 1!

I never would of thought genesis 1 to be such a powerful prayer...lol It was great.

Aaaah. Such a good time. :) :)

terrifically lovely

I'm finally alone at my house, and I just hugged Anthony goodbye, before my parents come home, and I realized that I haven't written a blog for a really gilly long time.

I guess i'll start out with what's happening lately.

I spent the weekend with Matt and Jess and Cami in Indiana, and I had an amazing time, Cami and Jessica cut my hair a little bit shorter, and me and Cami went outside determined to find apples for an apple pie, which we actually did. :)

This school year is going to be really hard for me, not because of the actual school (if that isn't hard enough) but I would say 3/4 of my friends moved away to college this year.

Everyone from Mather High School, everyone from Saint. Scholastica, Gone. I don't think i've felt this lonely for like 2 years...I think the hardest one is Adam being gone. *

So, now i'm officially back to normal. I think. One of my really close friends told me that I seemed really sad, and that I wasn't even talking, while I was with my usual group of friends. I guess I didn't realize that. I guess I was kind of lost in my own world for a couple of weeks, and i guess I was wallowing in my own tears. lol

So, i'm sorry friends, for not being the most enjoyable person to be around in the last two weeks, please forgive me. :)



* Yes, he was the guy I was talking about. I only was really friends with him since June, and then we we actually "together" since July. 2 months....ah. My first real relationship. Haha. It doesn't seem real...I had a really good time with him,. We knew that we would only be able to date for two months, so it didn't seem like that big of a loss, but I don't think i'll ever do that again. lol.

Jean Shopping: Old Navy.

I bit my lip and decided to go ahead and start shopping for jeans. I decided to NOT go to old navy, and see if there is any other place that has jeans that look slightly okay on me. (Since my last pair from Old Navy sort of ripped in half after a day on-the-go, I thought I should take a step up.) So, I Searched far and wide across Chicago-land.

First, Marshall's. Second, T.J Maxx. Third, Kohl's.......

Everything was either way too expensive, or just looked like CRAP. I finally gave up, and dragged myself into an Old Navy. I stood in front of the rows and rows of jeans, -looking like an idiot- and finally picked carefully out of the dozens of styles; Diva, Sweetheart, Flirt, Goddess, or Dreamer. (Who comes up with these names?!) I skillfully balanced myself on my flip-flops, and started skimming the sizes. Which, by the way, raises another issue, WHY THE HECK do they make bigger sizes (I'll admit it, I'm one of those bigger sizes) all the way to the floor!? Do the staff members love to see the fellow-fat-people teetering on their tiptoes? Do they like to see us grunt and moan trying to find our exact size (short, medium or tall) and then finally discovering it, pulling it out as a victory, only to find that we completely wrecked the neat stack of jeans? WHY OH WHY does every store do that?

Whew. I'm done. *ahem* So, what I was saying, I skillfully balanced myself on the concrete floor, reaching down to the lowest of lows, and find.....*drum roll please* An amazing pair of jeans.

Success!

Remind me to always come back to Old Navy. Even though I think it's crap all other times, I giggle to myself now that I always find what I'm looking for every time I go in there.

Yay Old Navy!

to read or not to read

I have found these last couple of days to be horrible; I have literally been so annoyed at myself for so many reasons beyond words. I have discovered too many things about my self, and almost to the extent of wanting to change every single aspect of myself, and every single little thing that bothers me, (and I'm sure bothers other people too) I have discovered almost a mystery about myself.

It always turns out to be a terrible thing when these things happen, almost eerie. "How did I not know that about myself?" "How did I not notice that there was a major issue in that place of my heart?" I always only seem to notice these things when I talk.

Of course it all come down to my blabber-mouth tendencies. I see that I say things that I don't even realize fell out of my mouth*. I find that I try too hard. My personality is getting berserk because of it. I have noticed clearly with various friendships, It's lacking something more.

Also, another thing that I find really quite frustrating is the fact that I don't have anything interesting about myself. I really don't do anything in particular that wants people to be friends with me. Nothing interesting, not an amazing personality that everyone is intensely attracted to. My group of friends that are not christians tend to be more open, and accept me for my quirky self, I adore that. Why can't everyone be like that?

I discovered though at my church is that people are more closed. Everyone has their own little group, it really is an acceptance issue. It's such a small church, I grew up with practically everyone, but I also feel kind of awkward there. I don't have any real friends there. I have REAL friends there, but i'm not close to them as I wish I could be. (Especially as my church family, frankly,I feel extremely left out) It's almost like I just sit in a chair and hope that someone comes and talks to me.**

Okay, so sorry for the 'downer post' guys, i'm surprised if you actually read this much since it's such a self-absorbed blog post. I'll have to write in later since it is getting so late, and i'll definitely be able to write more by tomorrow (or sunday) I hate where I am, and if you think about me this week or today, please pray for me. This time I really need it. I don't really feel how I want to feel, and it's not good where I am...



*Almost like drool when your sleeping on a plane, you wake up, and you realize you have that drool coming down your chin, on to your chest. It's just about the most embarrassing thing.
**Johnnie- (Since you're the only one who reads my blog, at least I think you do) I'm not necessarily talking about you in general, it's mostly me and my extreme wild imagination taking a hold of me. :)

gah

I know, I know. I haven't posted for a WHOLE WEEK...
So, from now on, I start again. :)

Babysitting.

I am rarely in a bad mood, I don't lose my patience, and I keep my cool, if I tell you I'm in a bad mood, (it's extremely rare) stay far away. It's a warning signal like the rattle of a rattlesnake...Okay, fine, it's not that bad. But I think you get the idea.

Yesterday, I was babysitting, for 12 hours, It's a usual babysitting job, and I honestly don't mind doing it. Okay, I won't get all crazy teenage-babysitter on you, but basically, the baby was supposed to fall asleep around 7:30, and didn't fall asleep till 11:30. Those four hours consisted of me walking around the house trying EVERY SINGLE THING to make her go to asleep, or at least stop crying. The Mom didn't even know what to do,. It sucked.

Okay.
I'm done. :)

Cooking up a storm.

Okay, so in reality, my Mom, cannot cook.

Sure, she can cook meatloaf, and spaghetti. But, I think that's about it. I honestly don't know how she has lived.

I am officially in love with allrecipes.com. I made a personal pact with myself that if I was home I would try to cook myself every meal. Well, i've been having LOADS of fun with it, I've even been making my parents dinner every night*, since when I come home, and all I see them eating is takeout, (or popcorn,) while watching netflix movies, or Lost on their laptops.

Well, since now I feel like such a 50's housewife (or daughter, lol) I have *ahem* discovered when I attempted to make things like Pizza, or anything breaded, turned into major FAIL moments.

SO, also new pact. Learn how to make home-made pizza, or lol anything breaded, it turns out to be successful! :)



**Just a side note, last night I made stuffed zucchini, AMAZING rice, (if I say so myself) salad, and strawberry lemonade :) Yummers.
Tonight, I have lemon garlic chicken with potato's in the crock pot right now. I got to figure out my side dish still...Here I come allrecipes!

conversations.

Aren't conversations the best?

Face it.

You only asked that person what kind of music they liked so that you could tell them what kind of music you liked.

Don't lie.

You only asked how that person's day was so that you could tell them how your day was.

And it always kind of quirks you off when they don't ask you back...



So, personal new mission. I am totally, absolutely, going to ask that-whichever person what kind of music they like, even when I don't want to hear what it is.
:)

quick post

I know. I told myself I really would be writing on here a lot more. But of course, I keep on forgetting.


I'm getting a little messed up in life. Things keep on happening to me, that are just right out of a movie it seems.

I used to get so annoyed with people not trusting other people, but yet I find myself not wanting to tell anybody anything. I think it's mostly because i'm embarassed. Not because I don't trust you guys, it's just that I can't stand thinking that anybody will take advantage of me again. Is that not trusting?

Crap. It totally is.

I need to make a phone call.

Help me out.

So, I was pondering this.

I was kind of annoyed with the fact that we weren't getting cricket wireless,. But, since I have to deal with it, I'm going along with me getting a new phone along with a new 2-year contract with T-Mobile.

In about 4 months (on my birthday) we get to start up a new contract...Which means, new phone! Whoop dee doo...So, I get on the Internet right away, and start looking into things...where I found two phones, that I would love to have. It's the samsung behold (the brown) , and the samsung highlight. (the top two, in blue)

For around $80 each, I can get one of 'em. It's just a matter of when I can get them, and if I can really get them.

So, help me pick, I know you probably don't know that much about either of them, but, let's put it into the the judging-the-phone-by-it's-cover method.

Which one should I choose?

Sonlight-Core 300

August 24th.


August 24th.


August 24th...

That day, is constantly rushing towards me like a tornado, and I don't know what to do about it. On August 24th, I start school.


I think this is the first time I actually have a date to put in my calendar, where I can label it as "First School Day".

Quite frankly, it scares me to death. The first couple of days within getting the books, I was too busy with them to actually think about it.

Since i'm practically my own teacher (have been since 7th grade) that big-blue-death-binder (as I fondly call it) is death row. Can I hang myself now?

2300 pages, of NOTES. Don't go on thinking that homeschooling is all "lets-sit-on-the-couch-in-my-pajamas-all-day-long" kind of deal. It's intense.

I sat for 3 days, at my dining room table, I figured out which books I was reading each week, I switched ALL the notes from the back to the appropiate week tab in the binder. I took all the old books out of the book-shelf, and put them in a box, and then I organized my books to which order I was reading them in, and put them in the empty, (can I add clean?) book-shelf.

I'm thinking i'm getting a little bit German here...lol. I know my Mom won't do it, so I do it. And golly, I enjoy it :)

Even though I still have 9 more weeks of notes to transfer, I have to say, (as I am in the beginning of ALL school years,) i'm freaking excited!

If you want, look at this link, (it shows what i'm doing this year)

I am really excited about the books i'm reading this year. I'm reading things like Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis all the way to The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald...The one thing I think i'm not too excited about is the Chemistry part. I think this is one of those things that just creeps me out, and puts me into the "I'm too stupid to do this" mode.

I still have to figure out my schedule for wake-up times, because now i'm starting to do worship sets at my church on thursdays and fridays at 12 pm and 1 pm...So, new schedule looks like:

Mon-Wed: I get to wake-up at 7:30 am.
Thu-Fri: 5-5:30 am.

Ta-da! I got it down. Haha.

spiffy lookin' blog.

Yep.

I just *ahem* designed a new blog... (with the help of google of course!)

Tell me what you think about it!

Booo sucky nights.

Yesterday, was fun.

For the most part...

I got to the furnace around 11:45, and did the set (think worship team, worship hour, la dee da) with Susan, which was okay.

I'm really excited about prophetic singing lately. Sure, I suck, but at least I'm not a scared chicken about everything now. I mean, I keep on looking on how much I have gotten more confident in the last three weeks, compared to the last year 1/2....BIG DIFFERENCE...Susan (worship director, and also prayer leader on this) asked me to go on the piano afterwards and do a song since we had extra time, so I go up, and of course all the sudden, I get worship A.D.D, for all the other singers/musicians out there, do you ever go up there, and forget how that one part of the song went? Well, you get the point.

The rest of the day, before the bridegroom watch, I pretty much walked around brain-dead, ate, talked to people, talked on the phone. My friend had a pregnancy scare, my other friend had a cheating boyfriend scare. Ahhh, Teenage girls.

Well, since I've been on 2-3 sets a week with prophetic singing, I get a little more edgy in what I think....of course I get all crazy, ACTUALLY THINKING I'M GOOD...I told my parents that I'm really enjoying spontaneous singing, and how i'm getting better at it.

Okay, after bridegroom watch, Alicia says "Evie, come and sing with me on the compassion set." At that moment, I was not feeling good whatsoever, I really felt like I was going to puke, but I went up there thinking I could do it anyways. Alicia was prayer leading, and asking me to sing spontaneously after everything she prayed.

Well, since I was so self conscious about my, I don't know, I-feel-like-i'm-about-to-puke stage, I couldn't concentrate. I wasn't in a good spot. My headphones kept on going in and out, I couldn't hear anything, and, well, it wasn't good.

I think I sang two extremely random things that didn't have anything to do with what she was praying, and it was off-key, and I couldn't go along with what her husband was playing on the guitar. My parents were in the seats, hearing me really for the first time. I was uber-beyond-uber embarrassed. (And even now, I don't know why I was so embarrassed, lol)

I gave my apologies to Alicia, and went to go sit down. I told my parents I wanted to go home. They told me to wait outside, and that they would be out in a second.

I went outside. And waited by our car.

Okay, well, I don't cry often, and I don't get angry often. I'm a pretty happy person in general.

At that moment, I just got plain ol' upset. I cried, I didn't puke, but I felt like I wanted to. I waited outside for 25 minutes.
I didn't want to go inside and tell them to-get-their-butt's-out-here-right-now, because I was still embarrassed.

I talked on the phone to Margie, and Adam called me in the middle of it. Thank God. I think Adam and Margie are just about the most perfect people to talk to when anybody is upset. God knows how many times we have helped each other through teenage-drama.

Yeah, so I was angry my parents left me out there for such a long time. I'm not a psychopathic daughter who yells at her parents constantly.
I know my parents won't stand for that, but I don't like people treat me like crap when i'm sick. I deal with it enough, and I definitely don't want to deal with it then.

Okay. The official Evie-rant is over. Thanks for reading.

I'm back!

Watch this youtube video, it's awesome! All the 2008 top hits, mashed together, (the beginning is a little slow, but i love it :) )

Just wanted to let ya know. I'm back on blogger! I know, it's been awhile, I really keep on telling myself to get back on it, but never happened.

Let's hope I can get to it 5 days a week. (new goal) I've been really been really busy. And, WILL be really busy. And I really want to talk about things that have been happening.

:)

I know, a little backwards with the posts. Fourth of July

Okay. I know I should of posted my "fourth of july" post, earlier, but I forgot.

Just wanted to mention, only because I remembered it for a moment, I absolutely HATE 4th of july's. I don't know what my problem is, but it's one of those things, and one of those dates, that I cannot let go of for the life of me.

I think the biggest issue in my life which I probably need some major help in, is the fact that if something absolutely terrible happens to me, I remember that date, and pretty much hold on to it. I think of it as my "depression date". I dwaddle in it. I think about the terrible thing, and I sit in my little pity-party. I know. Ridiculous.

North Carolina

Right now, i'm sitting in the passenger seat of the car. I'm staying at Peace Valley Campgrounds, and somehow we got the wireless connection to come through, from about a block away. It's a miracle!

I haven't written a blog post for awhile, so I thought now would be the perfect time to do it.

I'll start off with, NORTH CAROLINA IS BEAUTIFUL. The second you see those mountains it's like a giant can of febreeze just sprayed you in your face. That mountain smell? So-ho legit. :)

Everything is covered in leaves/vines/moss/whatever-you-want-to-call-it.
I guess there is a little county called Hanging Dog, and there is ALSO a little church there, called Hanging Dog Baptist Church. As soon as my parents heard that, they drove 30 minutes to get there to take a picture with the sign (My dog even happily jumped in with the polaroid). As soon as we took the picture, we saw right next to the church was this cemetery on this hill, with tons of old gravestones. My parents for some odd reason love looking at the old gravestones, just to look. So, (if you can imagine it clearly) is: my Mom and Dad, running around, trying to find the oldest gravestone there. I think we saw one gravestone, where the man died in 1901.

Oh, also, I think I have fallen back in love with reading. Yeah, I felt like there was a "dry season" (lol) for about a year, that seemed like every single book I picked up was slow...but lately I can't get enough of 'em...and well, I'm happy. haha.

I'm really missing the prayer furnace/friendship center lately, and I'm almost sick of running around everywhere like this. I don't think I have officially yet unpacked my toiletry bag since my trip to Texas. Once I get back from this long road trip/camping trip, I think I'm in Chicago for a good six months.

...

*sigh*

I am officially in Atlanta, Georgia...Well, actually i'm in McDonough Georgia...in a Hotel (*ahem* Motel room :) )

I guess I should go on and clarify what I meant from my last post. Lots of people are pressuring me on what I'm going to do, for well, really the next couple of years.
I guess my two sisters, when they were around my age, both were taking college classes, both had boyfriends, (who had met the family) and, well both had consistent jobs.

Well, then there's me. I haven't really pursued all of those things like my sisters. I have no idea what I want to do, I'm not super interested in taking college classes, Jobs? Sure, I have a couple of babysitting jobs here-and-there. My secretary job though, has gone zip.

Um, Guys...well, first of all, my sisters were (are) much prettier/thinner than me, (which some people won't let me forget) and just that I'm a little bit more picky, just for the fact that I've experienced, and heard too many stories. I want to be cautious with who I date, because honestly, having your heart broken SUCKS. I haven't experienced that to the fullest, but I've had a lot of crying friends on my shoulders, and I don't want to be one of those girls. It's just that, I guess I have had too many people come up to me in the last couple of months asking questions like, "So, where's your boyfriend" or "Who have you been dating lately." or even "You're not dating yet?" Here's the thing, I'm not a 40 year old cat lady, and I honestly don't understand that "issue" ...saying that marriage, is at least 5 years away (and that's if I marry YOUNG, haha).

Although, I must say, there HAS been possibilities lately in that department...I won't say too much yet. But seriously, possible possibilities. :)

ALSO, I'm thinking about different things I want to do just with plain-old life. I'm thinking about pretty much dropping the friendship center, and going elsewhere....I'll have to talk about THAT later as well. I'm going to really have to start looking around, but also, I have a couple of ideas. :)

layers in music are the best.

Okay, quick, random, not-really-necessary blog.

In about 10 minutes, i'm leaving on a road trip to Atlanta Georgia. I guess I can blog about it more tomorrow in the hotel room, but I thought I should let you know, and say sorry for not blogging lately :)

I have a couple of subjects I want to talk about. I'm feeling pressured to do a lot of things lately, it's getting on my nerves, and I don't know what to do...

More tomorrow!

WVA was AMAZING.

Dorm Room Lobby, playing Mafia.

Where I had my quiet time every morning.

The Lecture Halls

Dorm Room life...Olivia, lol

I have no idea. Me, Josh, Sarah, and Justin. GO YELLOW TEAM! :)

Breakfast at the cafeteria

My roommates and I two friends, Josh, and Justin.

Me and my roommate Sarah. (doesn't she look like cami?)



I thought I should write this blog while i'm waiting for me to switch my laundry...

I just got back (around an hour ago.) from World View Academy Camp...I have to say, I had the best week of my life. (Like they told me I would)

I got there on Sunday afternoon, and I didn't know anybody there, and well, I didn't really know what camp was all about, and yeah, I thought it was stupid how everybody was so giddy, especially the Alumni there.

We stayed at Trinity College's campus, where we stayed in the dorm rooms there, (which was way fun too)

There was really great lectures that opened my eyes to so many different religons, and every single teacher on the faculty staff, were super funny while they teached.

Man-oh-man, I don't know what I want to write about, about the camp, just overall it was amazing. I seriously think it has changed me so much on how I think of things, It's helped me SO much, I met a TON of great friends, and I found out i'm great at Frisbee, lol, and that being in a camp, with your small group, different colored teams, are just about the most fun things to be apart of, and I hope I can come next year.

It was the longest, shortest week of my life, but the BEST one I have ever had.

Yeah. That's my ramble, and I thought I should share!! :) I really will have to share more in later posts. I'm just so sad i'm back to "regular life" again, and wish I could go back, like, right now. I have officially became a WVA lover! haha

Ghetto Laptop

I thought I should mention that I got a new laptop.

Well, actually, it's a old one. A old as practically dirt (for a laptop I guess) It's a 1998 toshiba satellite. It can get internet if I pay the $40 dollars for a wireless card.

Before I got to texas, Margie got a macbook G4, and she had this one (which her sister-in-law gave to her)

It has microsoft word, and it plays music. The mouse doesn't work, so I have to buy a wireless one off of ebay, and right now i'm using a mouse from an old computer.

It works though.

I didn't realize how much I liked journal-ing. Yesterday I wrote 8 pages!!!

I always wanted to be one of those cool people who would write in journals every day, and would brag how "I finished 38 journals this year" and then they could look back at them every 5 years or so.

Nope. Not for me.

Sure, I might have 38 journals, (only because I liked the covers of the journals, which made me buy them) but they only have the first 3 pages filled out, (that's where my hand started to hurt.)

So, now, I type. I mean, obviously I have this sad little blog. Which is fine with me. But really, this blog was supposed to be completely private, then I found out a couple of my friends were starting to read it, so private-ness was sort of out of the window. b

Now, people I don't even know read my blog, which I think is just delightful. haha.

Congratulations Sarah.

I know my bangs are a little weird in the picture. But I really do love this picture.

Yesterday my sister graduated at the age of 21 from DePaul university with a bachelor's degree of Communications. I'm super happy for her, and I know she worked like heck to get it. I'm proud of you Sarah! Congratulations :)

I can't wait to be there when she graduates with her Master Degree in two years! I love you Sarah, mwuah.

Saturday night I got back from Texas...after a two hour flight to Georgia, a two hour layover in Georgia, and then a two hour flight from Georgia to Chicago.

My flights were a little weird, the first one was me sitting next to an older-gentleman, where about an hour in he tapped me on my shoulder when I was reading, and started telling me about a girlfriend he had in the 70's that looked a lot like me, and had the same characteristics that she had, and how I talked like her too. (creepy) he looked like he was about to cry, and then went on to say that she left him when they were about to get married. I told him "oh, i'm sorry." And he looked away.

Dramatic.

After the flight, since he was staying at the Atlanta Airport for his layover of 8 hours, he asked me if I wanted to get something to eat with him.

I kindly declined.

Second flight I sat with a black younger guy, where we listened to the airtran radio, and figured out we were listening to the same thing (stand up comedy) when we laughed so hard cran-apple came out of our nose (almost, way-too-near to almost) and we talked about it for awhile, where he offered to buy me a vodka, to put in my cran-apple.

I also, then, kindly declined.

I'm fifteen, and this kinda happens all the time. I really like looking older most of the time, and especially when I can fool people, if I play my cards right. But sometimes it's kind of awkward.

must read

I guess i'll write real fast, while Margie is still sleeping.

Okay. Margie is awake. Never mind about that, lol we just talked for about 10 minutes...On with the blog!

***

So the story begins just because there was a freaking party going on next door. I have been sleeping in the guest bedroom down the hall, and I have no idea what I heard coming from outside, (yes, I was terrified) so, I got up and wandered over to Margie's bedroom to talk to her for a couple of minutes, and what ended up happening was I fell asleep on her couch, while she fell asleep on her twin size mattress... around three a.m, I woke up, and went back to my bedroom.

I didn't turn on the light, and was about to pull back the covers. Okay guys, creepier sound then before, snoring. Snoring? Yes, snoring. Apparently, Tom, Margie's Dad, the-50-something-year-old-retired-wrestler-football-coach-preacher, fell asleep in my bed.

So, I scurry like an elephant mouse right back to Margie's bedroom, shut the door, turn on the lights, and awakened the beast... After I told her about what happened, she went up to the guest bedroom, to figure out what was happening.

So, what happened was: The music from the party next door was way too loud, Tom couldn't fall asleep, so he decided to check and see if I was in the guest bedroom or not, so he could get some rest. I wasn't in there, so I guess he figured we were just fell asleep talking in her room.

Tom woke up, told Marg to get him a flashlight, and he ran out there told them to "Turn their music off now" in his big voice... The music was turned off immediately, but about 10 minutes later, the music was turned on again. Tom fell back asleep in the guest bedroom, Margie fell asleep with her Mom, and I fell asleep in Margie's bed.

I woke up this morning, with Margie on the ground with a blanket over her head. And yeah, here I am now.

Great story of just last night...:)

Crazy dream.

So...I had this crazy dream last night, where I woke up crying. (not good)

Okay, this is going to seem extremely strange, (it's strange to me too) I was in a nursery school, in a extremely white Marilyn-Monroe-style dress, trying to convince the teacher there that my Grandpa was a 10 year old girl, we put nail polish on him and all this crap, kinda funny, but strange. I think we were trying to convince the teacher because otherwise she would kill my Grandpa (not good) Anyways, I was hiking this little 3-5 year old boy on my hip and he started to play with the toys on the ground, and while I was fitfully trying to convince the teacher, I looked around to check on him, and I looked at his chest, and there was blood, just completely soaking the shirt...I don't know why, but I guess there was paper on taped on his chest, and that was extremely sopped in blood. So, I scooped him up, and tried to figure out where the blood was coming from, I couldn't find the source, and I was getting scared, because the blood was getting to be a very dark red, which meant his red blood cell count was way too high, and that scared me. He wasn't crying, but he looked nervous. I told my Grandpa to pretty much fend for himself, and left to go find someone with a car...

Okay, so this is the weird part, I knew my friends prom was going on, and I knew my Dad was going to be there. I knew it was across the highway (I really felt like I was in a movie or something, haha) So, I ran, in heels, carrying this kid who was starting to whimper a little bit, and ran across the highway, to the building where my friend was having their prom, found my Dad, and told him that we had to leave right then...all of the sudden my Dad started to whine, and complain, acting like he didn't want to help me do anything, coming up with five-year-old lines, "do we have to?" or "I don't wanna..." I knew he wasn't going to help me, so I started running to find a hospital...

I don't remember actually getting there, I remember stopping for a second, and looking down at my dress, and seeing that it was completely soaked in red, everywhere. I remember looking at the face, and seeing him pass out in my arms... the rest of the dream I was in the waiting room, ready for a doctor to tell me sad news, and I was crying, and I woke up.

Ever feel like a dream is so real? I really feel like I remember holding him, feeling the blood everywhere, freaking out, and asking people to help me, and nobody helped. It sucked. Oh-my-gosh it sucked.

bada bing bada boom

Well, i'm just going to tell you about my day, today. :)

This morning we woke up at 8:30, and had our bible study with Tom and Louise in their living room, and they left, and me and Margie pretty much just hung out outside and sat around in our pajamas for the heck of it...we played on the piano for a bit, and well, just were us.

Around one we decided that today would be a good day to go to six flags, and then we found out that the Tom-tom could take us right then, so we got ready in about two seconds flat, and ran out the door.

About an hour later, Tom called us, kinda angry because we left the whole house in a complete mess, and told us that we had to clean it before he got home...

So, our day of six flags went good besides that...We met a guy who worked there who let us take the flash pass line for the titan, and so we finally decided to take the ride 6 times in a row... :) We talked to him for a bit, and he was cool : )

After that we went to the superman tower of power, (where that girl got her feet snapped off by a wire...) and right as were were getting comfy in our seats, Tom called up Margie, telling us that he was outside, and he needed to be at a meeting in 20 minutes...So, since we couldn't get off at that very moment, we took the ride, and speed-walked to the entrance, until we found out that the park was closing, and, well, people kept on pointing us in the wrong direction...We found out we were at the end of the park for the superman ride (which is more then a mile long) and so we finally got to his car after 20 minutes.

Whew.


We got back home, and we instantly popped some advil (The picture, lol) and we cleaned like mad women, then Louise came home, and we ordered pizza, and now everyone is happily in their rooms, while I sit here on the "family computer"...

So, yeah :) That was my day for you. Hope you enjoyed the pics :)

Tex some of that Ass.

Okay.
So, i'm in Texas! (YAY) and i'm going to try to write this as quick as possible while Margie takes a shower.
I bought my tickets sunday morning, and now, well, I'M HERE
I arrived around 10:30, and we got back, made some pizza, and have been watching the twilight zone....

My flight was amazing! I flew airtran, I stopped in Georgia, where on my way back I was sitting across the aisle from this cool Indian guy who grew up in the US, and was around 20 years old...after he borrowed my readers digest, we talked for the rest of the 2 hour flight...which was a lot of fun. He turned out telling me his life story practically,and he just went on, and on, and on, as Indians tend to do. He was almost, well, excited about telling me. Like this "new person" comes along, and I just sat there and listened and nodded my head, and he was so slap-happy about it. Super funny. We talked about the different restaurants in little India (Chicago) where he visits every once in a while.

Yeah. So i'm here, i'm going to post tons of pics on my facebook page, maybe even on here. :)

Love you guys in chicago!

ha.

Okay, this is going to be one of the "lame" posts of Evie's blogs...so don't expect too much...:)

So, I was completely prepared, ready to spend the night alone... I was sitting in the love seat, snuggling down with a cup of good ol' water, with my laptop, starting to write a new blog post.

My Mom rushed in and told me that "we had to go"

I guess my Mom completely forgot that I, and Jess and Matt, and her, had to go to Raffa's house, for a dinner party...

So, instead of spending lavish times with the beloved laptop, I went to an Iranians home to eat....we got there at seven pm, and got back home around one or two.

I don't think I have ever been more tired...which actually is kind of nice, because I have been sleeping AWFULLY the last couple of nights; and last night I passed out and don't even remember moving until the morning.

Well, I guess I'll talk about yesterday, since yesterday I was going to write about yesterday....

I went to the prayer furnace around 12...and left around 7.
I got there feeling like I was ready to puke because I didn't really eat that day, and I have a weak stomach (fat people can have weak stomach's too!) And I really do feel sick a lot of the time...

So, anyhoo, I ran over to the gas station and picked up some orange juice and other crap...before i walked into the prayer-room, I scarfed down the nutri-barf-bars, and sat back down in the seats and tried to "engage" into worship while sipping down some orange juice...First, the orange juice tasted crunchy. Not necessarily the texture, I mean the FLAVOR. (You pretty much know it's bad when stuff tastes "crunchy") I looked at the expiration date, and I found out that it expired in '07...Uh uh.

So, I stomped back to the shell gas-station and asked if I could get a different brand of orange juice, and they were nice about it...so then I got back to the furnace, and sat back down...

People kept on calling me throughout the day, and every time I tried just to sit down and enjoy the prayer room, another call...and all important ones, I got two babysitting jobs, and one from Louise Grossman (confirming flight plans for Texas!) and one from my old boss...

Yep. Exciting day in Evie's life...haha. So, that's pretty much yesterday...

:)

Words are better than Numbers.

I'm almost sick of blogging on my life. But here I go again.



I really suck at Math. That's the truth. I think probably because it's what I've been told my whole life...It's sorta in my family "history" that we do NOT understand math...and we never will. My Dad's Parents were never good in Math at school, and neither were my Mom's parents.I'm not really exaggerating here, my whole life, my sisters, and my parents kept on telling me "Evie, math is going to get really hard, so don't expect to love it your whole life." I really liked math until 8th grade, and that's where it just kind of got messed up. I told myself I wouldn't be able to make it sub-consciously. Which, really isn't good. Now I'm embarrassed when I'm with anybody and really have to do any sort of equation. I just feel, dumb. And people then blame my parents, since I was/am home schooled.
Which is partially kinda right, it's known that homeschoolers 80% of the time really aren't the best in math.


On a lighter note, my whole entire family is known for our ability to write amazingly. But, yet, I've also been told my whole entire life that I could write if I put my brains to it. My Dad still corrects me whenever I write a paper, (which I hate) but at least I know I'm good at something.

My Dad had really hard English teachers in school, and still, my Dad loves writing papers. He wants to go back to College again so he can write more papers.

I hope for when I have kids, that I remember to tell them that they can be good at anything they want to be good at. I love my parents, but the way they did some things for their kids, probably weren't the best choices. I could probably be one of those "Smart Alec" people who shove it into your face that they know everything about math. Haha.

My mind is backwards.

Well.
Life is going pretty good for me lately, which i'm happy for. Everything is still a mess...And everything is questionable.

These past 3 days have been me having extremely similar dreams each night.

The dreams are of me in a car. Usually I'm driving it...but it always seems that I'm trying to stop.

Either I forget where the brake is; or there isn't a brake at all. My Mom is always somehow driving...last night my dream was me driving. I literally thought I was driving. I was the driver. Me, driving, on the driver side.

So, anyhoo, I'm drivin' along, and so there is a red light ahead, so I move my right foot to the left, to start braking. Then, all of the sudden, I'm on the passenger side...and I was in one of those practice-driving-cars...except, without the brake, I really only had the accelerator. And then I saw my Mom driving, on the left side/drivers side. I look out the window, and we go through the red light, and into the intersection, where we just pass all of these cars, without being harmed. I kept on trying to find the brake, but I couldn't find the brake for the life of me, and I was freaking out thinking we were going to get in a car crash, and die.

My Mom was calm, and she looked over at me, and said "Evie, it's fine. You're not allowed to brake. There is no brake on your side. I'm the only one who is going to brake. You won't be hurt, I'll brake if we need to." Reassuring me.

That was the dream, and pretty much like the others. The other one was me getting on the highway, where everyone was driving really fast. I was in the merging lane, to get on, but I was completely freaked out that I wasn't going to be able to merge in enough time, and that I would crash into a car. My Mom was in the passenger side, and told me "If you can't get over in enough time, pull over to the side, and we'll stop, and start from the beginning again." And that's really what happened. I kept on trying to pull over, but in the last second, I would freak out, pull over, and then put instantly at the beginning of the merging lane on to the highway.

Okay, well, I'm guessing these are easy dreams to "interpret" I flipped through the pages of my dream interpretation class books that I had. It pretty much said: You being in the car (or driving it for that matter) means that you are starting a ministry, or, you are participating/leading in something you are called to. My Mother means the holy spirit. So, my Mom (the holy spirit) was reassuring me, and calling me forward in what I am called to/my ministry. I'm not allowed to freak out when I think I'm supposed to stop, because in reality I'm not, and it will be okay.

Well, that at least what I think. Now, I'm just trying to figure out what my ministry is? I have no idea.

When I was taking my dream class, I had aprox. five people come up to me, and without even knowing me, telling me that "my calling" was prophetic singing. Almost all of my "words" were about singing/prophetic singing.

I've been told that my whole life. Yet, the hard thing is for me is that I freak out when I try to prophetically sing. I'm not so much scared to sing off-key (because I do that enough) but to sing biblical. I'm afraid I'll sing something about the shire or something...I would probably do it to! Haha :). I'm not very good at words, I'm too much of a thinker. I know what I'm thinking all of the time, but don't know how to explain it. I know there is a word for it, but not which one. A lot of times, I know what the word is in Hindi, but not in English. Even though I'm not anywhere near fluent in Hindi....My mind is backwards my friend.

Class?

This is my plan. Well, really, my ultimate plan. I like having plans.

Susan (The Prayer Furnace' worship director) is, well, pretty much leaving for the summer. Well, since there isn't that many other worship leaders, (per se) She's going to do a class for the people that are interested in becoming just that...

She sent out this E-mail to four people, and all four of us are interested, and all have the same times available. So, yay for us, we are starting a class...I think the class is going to be sort of intense though, this is the email she sent to all of us:

Date: Wednesday, May 20, 2009, 11:29 AM

Hey guys,guess what!

All four of you are interested and available to go through worship leader training this summer! The time that seems to work for everyone is Thursday 2-4pm. If it doesn't quite we can still make this work - it will be easier for me if I have as many of you together as possible. Again, the first Thursday I would be able to start would be the 18th of June. Before you commit to this, you should know that this is going to be very intense. It will require at least 3 hours of practice a week for each person on their own. I am going to expect you to master some basics and if we're only doing the summer we don't have the time to wait for you to learn them. Only if you put in the required amount of practice will progress be made.We will work on: Learning songs (including fast ones)

Leading and directing songs

Simple chord progressions for harp and bowl

Chorus leading

Bible study (necessary to be an effective singer)

Communication with the worship team and the prayer leader

You will be required to learn over the summer:15 worship songs, 9 of them fast. All the chords in 5 keys (memorized): CDEFGAB C#m Dm Em F#m G#m Am Bm4 very simple chord progressions in 5 keys (total of 20 progressions)I am hoping to take voice lessons over the summer and expect myself to put in 6 hours a week of practice. If you're serious about becoming a worship leader and have the time I would hope you could do the same with what I give you. Also, I highly recommend taking private lessons from me during this time if you can afford it. I charge $60 a month for weekly, 30 minute lessons. I'm excited to see what God will do over the summer! I think you guys are all called to lead God's people into His presence with worship and I think this is an excellent opportunity to be trained to do so. Please confirm your interest in this by replying to this email.

Susan Croox Worship Director

The Prayer Furnace of Chicago

So, my plan is to not have any more sets by myself, until I understand more about this whole "worship leader thing" The truth is, I really need voice lessons. I'm planning on somehow getting the money together, and really working on it. I really want to embrace harp and bowl/prophetic singing, I feel like I could do way better with that, if I wasn't so nervous about singing something that isn't biblical. (the reason I posted that video was because I bet some of my diligent followers, probably don't know what harp and bowl is, I'll explain that later)

Every time I try to do a set by myself, (or with anyone) I pick out about 5 songs, for an hour...yeah, well, about 10 minutes in, i 'm done with my songs, and then I'm just sitting there on the piano like a retard, with nothing else to sing.

So, it would be extremely helpful to take this class, since I adore singing, and I love playing piano...but I really just need to practice...

I hate questions that get answered by a question.

Well, I've been surfing the Internet a little bit...and, I'll just say this.

I'm not in the best mood.

Today, was a pretty good day. Until about 1 hour ago, where it turned into a bad day. I guess I can't really go into too many details. But, I think I personally have changed.

So, I'm sure it's just about happened to everybody in the world..but ever feel like in just a short little time, you notice right then, that your whole entire view point, is DIFFERENT? Just because of that ONE thing you thought, or that one thing you read, or that one movie you watched?

It's something that I've been praying about today, and, well, since, Gee, I don't know, like since I was five. Something I was asking God, for a specific thing in my life. I think I got my answer.

Fine, it's not the one I wanted...that is true. Fine, I was hoping for that one thing, and it didn't happen. And, as God always does, he answers my freaking question, with a question.

I'm right where I'm supposed to be.