My mind is backwards.

Well.
Life is going pretty good for me lately, which i'm happy for. Everything is still a mess...And everything is questionable.

These past 3 days have been me having extremely similar dreams each night.

The dreams are of me in a car. Usually I'm driving it...but it always seems that I'm trying to stop.

Either I forget where the brake is; or there isn't a brake at all. My Mom is always somehow driving...last night my dream was me driving. I literally thought I was driving. I was the driver. Me, driving, on the driver side.

So, anyhoo, I'm drivin' along, and so there is a red light ahead, so I move my right foot to the left, to start braking. Then, all of the sudden, I'm on the passenger side...and I was in one of those practice-driving-cars...except, without the brake, I really only had the accelerator. And then I saw my Mom driving, on the left side/drivers side. I look out the window, and we go through the red light, and into the intersection, where we just pass all of these cars, without being harmed. I kept on trying to find the brake, but I couldn't find the brake for the life of me, and I was freaking out thinking we were going to get in a car crash, and die.

My Mom was calm, and she looked over at me, and said "Evie, it's fine. You're not allowed to brake. There is no brake on your side. I'm the only one who is going to brake. You won't be hurt, I'll brake if we need to." Reassuring me.

That was the dream, and pretty much like the others. The other one was me getting on the highway, where everyone was driving really fast. I was in the merging lane, to get on, but I was completely freaked out that I wasn't going to be able to merge in enough time, and that I would crash into a car. My Mom was in the passenger side, and told me "If you can't get over in enough time, pull over to the side, and we'll stop, and start from the beginning again." And that's really what happened. I kept on trying to pull over, but in the last second, I would freak out, pull over, and then put instantly at the beginning of the merging lane on to the highway.

Okay, well, I'm guessing these are easy dreams to "interpret" I flipped through the pages of my dream interpretation class books that I had. It pretty much said: You being in the car (or driving it for that matter) means that you are starting a ministry, or, you are participating/leading in something you are called to. My Mother means the holy spirit. So, my Mom (the holy spirit) was reassuring me, and calling me forward in what I am called to/my ministry. I'm not allowed to freak out when I think I'm supposed to stop, because in reality I'm not, and it will be okay.

Well, that at least what I think. Now, I'm just trying to figure out what my ministry is? I have no idea.

When I was taking my dream class, I had aprox. five people come up to me, and without even knowing me, telling me that "my calling" was prophetic singing. Almost all of my "words" were about singing/prophetic singing.

I've been told that my whole life. Yet, the hard thing is for me is that I freak out when I try to prophetically sing. I'm not so much scared to sing off-key (because I do that enough) but to sing biblical. I'm afraid I'll sing something about the shire or something...I would probably do it to! Haha :). I'm not very good at words, I'm too much of a thinker. I know what I'm thinking all of the time, but don't know how to explain it. I know there is a word for it, but not which one. A lot of times, I know what the word is in Hindi, but not in English. Even though I'm not anywhere near fluent in Hindi....My mind is backwards my friend.