And let there be: Wanting to run away.

Wow.
It's been a long, long time since I last wrote (6 days, lol) I'm bored. So here I am. I got back from the 'girls apartment' about two hours ago. I was helping Babs clean up the fridge, in the big empty apartment, which i'm never going to see again. Me and her were having a long heated conversation, where I started crying.
We were talking about my need for change.
I don't remember when Marvin and Sally came last, (I think fall?) and I right before then was really trying to figure out what to do in my life for the summer. I am sick and tired of just doing nothing over the summer. I really want to work on my relationship with God, since now i'm (sorry for saying this) bored with God. I know, it sounds JUST AWFUL, but i'm being completely honest. I feel like i'm going nowhere. Example: You're on the treadmill in the basement. Sure, you're still going, but the scenery around you is still that moldy ceiling. And no matter how fast or hard you try to go, you're still seeing the same-old same-old.
I really hate that. I try really hard, but nothin' is completely working!

As I have been thinking about this for about a year, I realize it's really where I am. I'm in the prayer furnace, where I grew up my whole life, I know EVERYONE. EVERYONE knows me. I get 'approving glances' from people when I stand up and 'supposedly' worship. I HATE THAT. I want to worship, and people come up to me, oh "Evie, I can see God really moved you're heart since you stood up. PRAISE GOD!" Oh yeah, uh-huh. Praise God. Thanks for ruining it.

I just don't want anyone looking at me, I don't want anybody to 'notice' me. I know what you're saying, "But don't you want everyone to know that you worship God?" Yeah. But can't I just be the insecure teenage girl that i'm supposed to be? Well anyways, to the point, I do it as well, -and you know you do it too- in my head I see someone stand up worshipping, that doesn't usually stand up, and I think to myself, "Wow, the presence is strong here" In my southern voice. Which is instantly followed by me slapping my knee and exclaiming in my head, "Crap, I did it again".
So, in essence, i'm not blaming the furnace at all, or people there, or whatever. I just need new environment.

Okay. My whole entire story leading up to it is, I asked Marvin and Sally if possibly they had a summer internship there that I could be a part of... I would LOVE that. It could really help my spiritual life. Oh God. Please let me go!

Barbara was saying that she felt I should go. And I needed that,. since my parents are kinda against me going there.
Well. I guess i'm done. Let's hope I can fall back into my schedule of writing everyday.

And let there be: Frustration with God.

Well, as by the title, you could magically discover that I am, officially frustrated. Last night at our church, we had Alli Morgan come to visit at our church...She was a very amazing person, and to hear all of her stories/testimonies made me excited.

Well, I guess you should know where I'm coming from; I should say that I grew up as a Christian, in a "Radical Church" if you would like to say that, umm, well I have had a easy life in some points, I have never been raped, I never really abused drugs/alcohol, I never was homeless, I never have gone a day hungry, my parents aren't divorced, I have never had anybody close to me die. I have a lot to be thankful for, really.

I kinda always wanted (as sick as this sounds) to be in a hurtful situation, where I could come to God, weak, and "in want", I could get a holy-spirit-blast from God, and bam! TESTIMONY. Lol. I find my life so dull, I'm not saying that I should go out and have all those things happen to me, but it's hard when everyone around is saying "I WAS AN ALCOHOLIC, I WAS A PORN ADDICT, AND SUICIDAL, AND GOD RADICALLY SAVED MY LIFE!!!"

I'm just little ol' me. I want to come from that brokenness, and be fully able to understand God, and appreciate him, for all he is worth. I guess that's what I'm trying to figure out, why can't I appreciate God for everything he is worth? It's because I don't come from that brokenness, you really find God when you come from brokenness. It's simple, In the dream 101 class I took, they said sometimes God puts you in those hard places because you're so in "happy-land" that you completely forget about God, no more, "Thanks God" or "How are ya?" We forget about him because we are not in want any more. Jesus is JEALOUS for you. He wants your full attention... he loves making you happy, but especially when you are THANKFUL for it. I mean, I guess you could look at it on two ways, "Wow, God is a jerk" or "Aw, God just wants our full attention" My reaction was the first of the two. But really, you could look at it two ways. Okay. So, now I'm officially rambling on and on.

Well, okay, since now you know, I'm not in any state whatsoever of brokenness, I try really hard to talk to God daily, and I always want my little taste of "Him."
Alli was saying "Ask and you shall receive" So, I ask. Okay, not working, i'll "Knock, and the door will be opened" Nope. Not working. John Bailey asked the people who want to be prayed for to step up. I step up. I stood there awkwardly playing with my ring on my finger to be prayed, everyone around me is being blasted, laughing their heads off, screaming, falling on the ground. Yeah. Again, i'm the random person who never falls flat on their face. Alli prayed for me for like two seconds for freedom in my love.
Right.
I stood there trying to giggle (my thought process was, "well maybe if I start, I won't want to stop.") So, it turned out too awkward for me. I decided to go pray for my "Blast" so I sat on the ground by the blankets, and I had my head, face down on the chair. And I prayed. Well, and cried. I hoped something would happen. Nope. Absolutely nothing. Once again.

I really only once got "holy spirit-blasted" and that was when I was 13, and I went to a prayer meeting with my sister at Nora's house. Everyone prayed for me, and I saw a vision of my heart, and how it was like a tin-can that was completely crumpled, and that God was sticking one of those things (like sticks? I don't really know, I know they do it with smashed in cars, lol) in to pop it all back into place again. It ended up completely restored, only with holes in it, but then all the holes were filled. Yep. That was my vision. lol that was after the worst summer of my life. lol

Yep. That's it...Definitely more tomorrow, I wanted to write about other things, but this has gotten too long.
:D

Singing.

Well. I guess it's true that I am officially back. I did my set with Danielle, and the other one with Jessica. I honestly LOVE singing on both of those sets. I don't think people get how much I really enjoy it. Danielle's set was good, the final song though was one which I know I suck at, so I decided just to get up and leave. Probably not the best thing in the world. lol, but Danielle knows I hate doing that one, and I know she is trying to help me, (Which she is!) At Jessica's set, I prayed right before I jumped up there that I would have true freedom, and that I wouldn't give a crap what people thought, well, I accomplished that (at least through out the set, lol) I tried my crappy harmonizing, I tried to sing higher then I really can, I did everything I thought I couldn't.

The poor people in the rows.

I think I try to be everything some people try not to be. I'm usually quiet and timid up there because I don't want to be that one-crappy-singer-who-does-nothing-but-just-keeps-screaming-in-the-microphone type of girl. I would rather be the humble person who always thinks she sucks. In my head, it's much better! I have people tell me different opinions of my voice "Oh Evie, you're AMAZING, keep going at it! God has even better things for you!" or, "Uh, er, Evie, maybe you should try to stay more quiet, you have to practice a little more because you're going off-key most of the time." I hate honesty. I would rather people tell me that i'm "amazing" all the time, but then again, I know that they really would be lying, and it's helping to "Build me up in ways I couldn't have imagined." I, on the other hand, love giving compliments to people as much as I like receiving them. I think it's just about the nicest thing when someone says "Why, don't you look pretty today." With a big smile on their face, Why not give back what you receive? I never lie when I give my compliments, but seriously, how much brighter could you make someones day?

I'm trying to reassure myself that lots of people go off key alot, and that I just need to probably spit out some money and get voice lessons, but gosh I wish I was just really good right off the bat, with no practice whatsoever. I have had crap loads of people give me "Prophesies" that I'm going to "Have this amazing voice" or "Lead incredibly anointing worship" etc. etc., And I think I might just take that a tad too the highest power. I really probably, just need to seek God out, and ask him for everything, because I can't do it myself.
SO! Practice and prayer makes PERFECT I guess I should say.
Blech.

CHICAGO

Well.

I'm back in Chicago. And, I realize now how unhappy I really am here. Florida was a complete reliever...

That's it.

Well last night was my last night by myself in my room. Today, Sarah comes to visit Florida with me, I'm staying till Thursday, and then my sister is staying for a week. I'm kinda not that excited about it because me and Sarah aren't as close as me and Jessica. I really am hoping that we get along.

I was talking to Margie today, and since I have been here, I have realized how crazy my brain works. I really only had Indian friends until I was about 9, when I met Margie, but before then, I really truly grew up with only Indians (besides my church family) But then, I also realized, how much I talk to myself in the 50 words I know in Hindi, or, I just talk like little Indian immigrants. Hmm, well, example: I seem to put a 's' on the end of EVERYTHING in my head, sometimes even out loud.. very embarrassing. Like "don't show your underwears to me" pluralization is not the best quality in me...okay. Thought I should share... lol

Well, here is going to be a favorite quote of the day, I was talking to Margie who was saying how she was diagnosed for sleepless leg syndrom, I messed up on it, "Legless Sleep Syndrom"
Haha. I can see you're laughing now. OKAY.
Goodbye.

And let there be: Utter randomness...

Well, last night I saw a very interesting movie. If you have ever seen Vicky Cristina Barcelona, it will rack your brain. I watched it with my Grandparents, which was awkward, with about 4 sex scenes in the bunch. My Grandpa kept on complaining "Where is Penelope Cruz? It's half way through the movie, and I don't see Penelope Cruz!!!" I told my Grandma that she had competition with Penelope. My Grandpa carried on: "Is that Penelope Cruz? Is that her Evie?"
"No Grandpa."

But, it was one of those movies that left you wondering in the end of the movie. And in some ways, I completely hate that. I really like to know what happens afterwards, but you know, that movie really kept your attention. I'm not even that much of a "movie lover", but I sorta loved this one...There was something's I learned in that movie; #1: I really want to go to Barcelona now. It's like my dream. I think that is one of the places I would like to study abroad if I could. #2: I already knew that I really liked Spanish guitar, but boy, it made me want to listen to it forever. I think I'll have to buy some of it on itunes or something.

Haha. I know, I know, I'm picky with my music. But something has to give me inspiration to listen to it. There can be that one song, with just the right chord progression that just makes my "music heart" leap. And I'll probably be hooked on it like crack for 3 weeks. Then it's to the next song. Another way to make me really like music is to force it on me until I listen to it, and if I listen to it long enough, it will eventually get to me so where I completely fall in love with it, it was like the song Viva la Vida by coldplay, I heard it already like two times, but until Johnnie forced me to listen to it for longer then 20 seconds, in my ears, I actually started to like it. Which, in the end, was truly embarrassing because I made such a point that I hated that song.

Last night I still slept awfully. It took me two hours to fall asleep...then finally, I was in dream land, and my parents called at 3 am. I was pissed.,I'm sorry, but I am not happy when I am sleep deprived, oh and can't breathe through her nose, or mouth, because of my awful sore throat or stuffy nose. I was popping pills like Dr. House with his vicodin, that's a image for you.... now I actually don't remember the conversation I had with my parents, but I really hope I didn't sound so pissed on the phone as I did in my head...People usually I say i'm really nice when I first wake up, but I don't know how the crap I was. But, when i'm awake i'm pretty good at putting the best image up that i'm the freakin' happiest person in the world., so maybe it was carried on through my sleep.

Okay, one more random crap thing. I decided my hair looked a little weird, so I thought I should cut this little bit of hair on my bangs, and now it won't go down and it just sticks up like a mini-mowhawk.
Okay, now i'm challenging you to get more random then I was in the last 20 minutes...haha.

and let there be: sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep.....

I have no freaking idea why I can't fall asleep lately. It's really starting to suck too. Last night, I couldn't fall asleep until 3. Then, I woke up at 5:45, and was awake watching the Daily Show with Jon Stewart till 8. Then I fell asleep, and woke up again at 10:30. Okay. That's like 5 1/2 hours of sleep.
Crap. I was going to start my "bragging" on how amazing it was that I only got like 3 hours of sleep or something. (You know you do it too) But 5 1/2 hours seems a lot more reasonable. One of the main reasons I couldn't fall asleep last night was the fact that I was getting freaking creeped out. I kept on hearing weird noises, and "I swear that closet door was shut before."
Ever since I was younger I had this terrifying thing, of me being afraid of the dark, I remember when I was younger and I was sleeping on the top of the bunk bed, and the ceiling fan was on, and it was going really fast. The whole night, I dreamt that demons were chasing me on horses (the fan sounded like galloping) and I kept on crying out to Sarah to save me (she was on the bottom bunk) She didn't.

I think I really did/do have a wild imagination. Maybe the fear of the dark has been stuck with me through my life. My Mom told me that when I was about 3 years old, in our house, there was a mirror,and every time someone would walk by it, it would swing, every time I would wander by it, I would scream bloody murder, frozen, staring at my image, swinging. Maybe my thought process is just weird, but you know, I could of gotten that from my Mom.
The last time my Dad was out of town, my Mom was sleeping in her room, but then about 3 in the morning, she ran into my room, and crawled into my bed (no joke, I really felt like the mother, haha) she said she felt like demons were pulling on her toes. So, of course, while I'm creeped out in my bedroom last night, all I could think about was demons pulling on my toes. Now, usually, when "creepy" things happen to me like that, I put on some sort of christian music, but of course, my ipod won't turn on (it broke about 3 days ago) I was screwed at that point. So, I put on the TV, just for that little dim of light, and nice sound, and do you know what was on? Nuns singing, all at once, creepy words, lighting candles, with their eyes closed. "How could this be CHRISTIAN!?!" Was all I could think.
That's when I turned on Jon Stewart, I don't know why they have to put the same freakin' rerun 3 times in a row, I watched that till I started falling asleep. Okay. So you now know about my paranoid self. Enjoy yourself now.

And let there be: Crazy stories that inspire.

WELL...
I guess I sort of have what I planned what I was going to write about today. Let's see where it takes me.

I think about my brilliant ideas for my brilliant blog right when i'm starting to fall asleep. Then, if I don't feel too lazy, I get up, get out a pen, and a piece of paper, and write the date, and random words to describe what I'm going to write about. That's why I always have a piece of paper and a pen in my nightstand, and chap stick, don't forget the chap stick... lol.
Okay. Well, yesterday, me and my Grandma were sitting on the couch, watching Dr. Phil (shut up) and they were dealing with all of their drama crap and stuff about dealing with married couples who wanted a divorce, and if they should get a divorce or not. Then, commercial came on, and I asked my Grandma (after a big long discussion in my head if I should or not) if she ever wanted to divorce my Grandpa. Okay, so i'll leave that alone, (haha) but I do want to say (and what i'm trying to get up to) is the story of when she met my Grandpa, and how amazing it was. Okay so, this is a pretty sweet story, My Grandma, started dating this random guy, when she was 13-17. (I know, long, and YOUNG. It was like the fifties? I haven't even had a real relationship :P) Okay, well then she broke up with him. She was depressed, but she decided she was going to get the perfect man, so, she prayed the St. Joseph prayer, at Mass, for a week. She decided on that because she thought Joseph, was a great husband to Mary, and a great Father, and that's what she wanted. So, on to the last day, her friend Kathy called her up, asking her if she wanted to go see a movie. My Grandma said yes, but she needed to go to the church first to pray her final prayer. So, after her final prayer, they went to the movies, but they wouldn't let them in, because they looked too young, so they dared each other, to go to the dance hall, around the corner, and try to sneak in, and that's where she met my Grandpa,. and you know... they actually got pregnant with my Dad, before marriage, and all of the grandkids now, actually call him "Saint Grandpa" Because he is so even-tempered.
Okay, well I told Margie that, since her and me have really actually been praying for our future husbands since, well mostly this year, (lol) because, we have no idea who he is, but we know certain qualities that we want in a guy.I have always said I want to marry a guy like my Grandpa, (because I love his qualities as a husband/father) and really he is just amazing. So, now how ever lame that is, me and Margie are, well, praying, and, well you get the point. I really love having Margie as a friend in that respect is because we can really talk about everything and anything, and I wasn't embarrassed telling her about it, and she was excited about it, and since we have been praying diligintley for the last couple of months, this really has been nice. Okay, I was planning on talking about the most nastiest Subway, but, I don't feel like complaining. So, there ya go.

And let there be: no signs??

Okay. This is a gah moment. Especially if you read the post where I saw a "scary dog" in the woods, And, for the record, let's just say we are all ecstatic i'm still alive, (and that I have all my toes)
My Grandmother was talking to some of her friends at the pool, and she was telling them about what I saw the day before in the woods. And, they told her; *scary music* IT WAS A PANTHER. 15 feet away from me!
I guess it is known in Lexington that they're are panthers in that little clump of palm tree forest-ville, and that you're not supposed to go in there. THEY SHOULD HAVE SIGNS. But of course, they don't. Thanks alot Lexington Country Club. Okay. Well i'm alive. And all is well. I'll say it again. Curiousity almost killed the Evie.

:( There is no favorite quote of the day :(

And let there be adventures...

Okay,
well I guess I'll start of with my lame self when I was walking back from the Internet room. On the way back, there is this scary wooded area, that is over this hill, and it's filled with all these amazing trees. My curiosity got the best of me, and so I climbed the little hill, and peeked into the woods. (I felt so adventure-book-girlish) Well, the surprising as heck thing was, I saw this big movement, and this big dog thing put his head up, and ears, and just looked at me.. But all I saw was really the eyes and the ears. Okay, I thought I saw a coyote or something, (but I honestly, don't know really what a coyote looks like) or wolf or something. It could of been a dog, but the head was too big to be a dog. So, anyways, I ran out of the woods, and down the hill, my heart beating fast. It was a full moon that night, so I swore it was a were-wolf. lol. Curiosity almost killed the Evie! I'm no Bindi Irwin. :P

Also, I have been meeting new friends out here, one in particular, Charlie. "She" is great. And she just started a blog, and since I don't know how to do that cool as crap thing to put a link up, you can just check out the followers. On the right down yonder.
Umm, well on another random note, I woke up this morning, bright and early (9 am, lol) and I started watching the history channel... *ahem* Well, it was about Einstein. And it was intense. And I sat on my bed, drinking coffee, wide eyed.

Favorite Quote of the day:
"We lie for each other to make our own lives sound more interesting then they really are.."
-Me.

One of the lamest posts of Evie's time!!! Okay. I'm done! You can stop reading the madness...

And let there be smokers.

Well.
Here I am again. I was talking on the phone today with Marge. We were talking about our normal crap things, and she was talking about how she hates the smell of people when they smoke. Now, Margarine and me have almost everything in common it's ridiculous, but I really like the smell of when people smoke, -especially pipes- I don't know how people really think it's such a bad smell. The reason I think I like it so much is because I remember this very distinct time, when I was five years old, in Germany. I was sitting on my Mom's great uncle's lap. (Uncle Gustav) and we were in this trolley, going up a mountain in the woods. It's this great touristy spot, and I remember the trolley being red, and I remember seeing my sisters a couple rows of chairs ahead of me, and the seats were really wooden and old... well, I remember that being just about the best time, right there. I had the best feeling of safety, and everything. So I was sitting there, cuddling in his lap, and had my head on his woolen vest. And I felt like a little red riding hood or something. Now how lame is that? But seriously, he had smoked pipes all of his life/drank the best beer in the world all his life, and you know, it was just about the greatest smell from him, (creepy eh?).

I have family from Germany through my Mom's Mom (Oma), who, when she was around 20 years old, she decided to go on a vacation to america for two weeks. She met my Grandpa (Opa) and decided to stay. So yeah.
Their family out there is a long history of Artist's for churches. They worked along side tons of famous painters in Germany. So, apparently I have "Artist Blood" in me. Which is absurd since I really can't do anything productive or pretty.
Well. That's it. I have nothing else to say. I didn't do anything today. SO there is the life of Evie's thoughts. Isn't it amazing?

And let there be Religon, and Comedy.

Well. It's been three day's since I wrote my last post.
I'll start with the most important one. I had this big long discussion with my Grandmother about religion. She was talking to me about these feelings she was having about my Dad, and how she was disappointed with him. She was saying he has some sort of hate in him, that she can't understand, and she thinks it's because he is a christian. So, I got on my soap box. She said she was blaming God for his hate. I told her that anything in Christianity is only love and kindness. Nothing else. And that whatever had deceived my Dad, was completely not from God. And that blaming God for something he didn't do, well, wasn't right.
Okay. I'm sorry, but I get really sometimes completely pissed off at Christians because they always shove God down other people's throats. I have a ton of friends who aren't saved whatsoever. They know I'm a christian, I tell them, and my biggest rule is that I will not, shove it down their throats. Unless of course, they ask questions about it. Maybe it's wrong. But, I just see people who don't have God in their lives feel Christians need to get a life. And they would rather have friends like me. And you know, I actually have people ask me a ton of questions about God. I know I'm supposed to help them get to heaven. I find that VERY critically important. But, people won't want it. C'mon, wouldn't you be pissed if a Muslim, Hindu, atheist, etc., came up to you and gave you millions of books, prayed for you, and had all this different hocus pocus stuff on you?
Okay, I'll stop my rambling, on with the story. I gave her the example of this; Okay, let's say there are these parents. They have nothing but love in their hearts for their son. They only teach him the best of things. They only want the best of things for their son. The son grows up, his parents send him off to college. The son moves on. He grows up even more. 25 years later. The son murders somebody. People start pointing their fingers at the parents. Only blaming the parents. Not even looking at the son. They say the parents are the culprit. How dare the parents teach their son to kill that person?...
Okay. Well my Dad NEVER killed someone. I'm definitely not saying that. What I'm saying is the parents are representations of God. (I'm not sure how accurate this whole entire mess is, but it made sense in both our heads) Why should we blame God for my dad's actions? Nobody is perfect; Everyone makes mistakes. Isn't that we are taught through are whole entire lives? Maybe his mistake had messed him up. There is no reason whatsoever to blame God for it.
My Grandma is now a little bit more on my side. But I can still see she is very hesitant. She is a strong Catholic. I know she loves my Dad, she just feels like he wasn't that way before he became a Christian, why is he now...? Sort of thing. And I understand her point. I would be questioning the same thing. So, I have grown up in a extremely radical church. I have my stand points. I don't agree with everything my family and church say. I kinda just came up with something all in my head. And of course, the whole freaking entire world strives to prove themselves, well, right. Every religion thinks they are completely right in every single aspect. It's ridiculous. Okay... Done with religion.

Now I'm going to move on to my absolute crazy, yet embarrassing dream to...*drum roll please*, (you can laugh off your cheeks [yes, your butt cheeks]) I have a desire to be a comedian. I can just imagine it now. And, the sad thing is, I'm not funny at all. (unless you really know me, which can change your whole entire view) But I don't think you understand how my brain works. I am constantly making things up in my head. I joke around myself to make myself cheer up. Its absurd. Completely. So, how I'm learning how to do things is to watch Comedy Central, all the time. I have had it on in my bedroom since I got here. I will just watch the stand up crap ALL the time. I love learning about it. I love making people laugh. I already have my style. I practice in the mirror. Fine. Laugh it off. And whoever is reading don't go on to tell the whole world. But I would just adore it. I have enough freaking aspiration to do it... I really think I could too.
Okay. I'm done for now! Maybe more tomorrow! :)

"I don't like the idea of anyone not liking me....I don't even like the idea of Alkida not liking me."

Well.

Here I am again...what a surprise. I have now had officially 5 people telling me they read my blog every day. Why don't I just feel loved. I swam for a hour today, sun bathed for 3, my face is freckle-ey and my shoulders sunburnt so bad I want to cry. But, I'm good :) I'm not quite bored yet, but I appreciate calls., some random people called me up that I haven't talked to for a long time, and I had good chats with everyone on the poolside. Okay. So as you can see I don't obviously have the most interesting things to say.

uh, erm, tomorrow I'm going to buy scrabble to play with my Grandma?



Fine. I'm bored. I won't deny it. At least not to the people who I know is reading this. I'm downright, son-of-a-gun bored. Not terribly bored, but I have to stay here for two more weeks, with just sun bathing for 3 hours every day? I better get a hell of a lot more beige then usual. I really don't honestly miss Chicago. I've had enough crap there. At least here I can be more truthful to myself. Sure, I put on a happy smile for everyone that I know, in Chicago. I try to help everyone out, I be the "sweet missionary kid" the one people think I'm great... I thrive on that. I've been building up my "loveliness" since I was 9.

I'm exactly the opposite of my parents, not necessarily more mature. But in some ways, yes. As of, my Mom. She likes everyone to think she is absolutely perfect on the outside. She suffers a mild depression. She thrives for people to think the best of her. Don't know what "spirit" that is. No matter if it is just the "longing to be accepted" spirit.

Me on the other hand, I don't really feel like I'm not accepted with a lot of people. I have random people come up to me a lot, and say "Hey, you know my niece, (or son, or friends kid, or whatever) and they always talk to me saying that you're their best friend!" And all I can think is "Who the crap are they talking about?" Haha, I was watching the office the other day, and I liked what character Pam said, "I don't like the idea of anyone not liking me... I don't even like the idea of Alkida not liking me." In some way, I sort of feel like that. I don't dwell on it. But I hate when people don't really like me that much. Like, one they act really friendly with other people, and they seem like really fun people to be friends with, but they look at me like I'm the "ultimate bitch of chi-town." And all I can think is, "How can they actually feel like that about me/What the crap did I do?" But, yet, I don't want to have friends that I'm shy with. Where I have to "tip-toe" around them. Okay! Done with the rant. I'll shut up now.
.......

shriveled freckled tomato. Please God, no.

I am completely worried that when I am "Tanning" (a.k.a, cancer in a lawn chair) or sunburning/freckling, whatever you want to call it for me, I always think that i'll wake up, it'll be dark outside, and the burning will, well, start to burn. You know the people, the people who will fall asleep on those empty lawn chairs, and then wake up bright red, all over. What's the only word to say after that? Oh yeah, CRAP.
So, I try not to pass out in the nice, wonderful dry heat. I listen to my ipod, read books, drink. Whatever. Because, I know, that I'll just start drooling all over the plastic straps in just about five seconds flat if I close my eyes.
And, I apply spf 1 million to my face every five minutes. I'm not exaggerating whatsoever either. I'm terrified of getting a sunburn. I have had the worse cases of it imaginable. So, every time I feel like that burning sensation is crawling on that one square inch of my face, dab a whole big amount on right there.
And, it works. I was out in the sun for two hours. And, alas, I'm not a tomato! YAY.
Okay, now I'm going to shut up about my delightful sunburn. But you don't know how giddy it makes me, to not have it.

Yesterday I completely forgot about telling (whoever is reading) about my airplane trip. I flew with southwest, which I am completely happy with. I think this is like the #2 on my favorite airlines to fly on domestically. (United is #1, of course :D)
Nice comfy seats, they gave complimentary 2 drinks, a bag of chips, (and they'll come around again and ask if you want anymore!) and honey roasted nuts.
Of course I thought that was amazing. I mean, look at me. I like food. haha.
The sucky part was, was that they don't reserve a seat for you. Of course I'm like the last person to board. So I'm walking around like a stupid fool, trying to find a seat. I finally found one next to this overly nice elderly couple. My flight was 30 minutes early, and well, over all, my trip from Chicago to Fort. Myers was just amazing.
My trip so far, has been great. You think that you would be bored with just a couple of things to do here. (reading, watching TV, swimming, tanning etc.) But really, I find myself as the laziest person in the world. (Which I knew already in the back of my head) This is like my enjoyment to just lay around all day.
My grandparents rented out a condo, and they are right about 200 feet away from their pool. (what happens is that their 4 buildings, the more richer ones, have their own pool entirely., own key, own certain people) And then there is the "something island", which is just about a 15 minute walk away from our condo. They have a tiki bar, big pool, hot tubs, exercise rooms, library, and, the best of all, *triumphant music* the Internet room. Which I am in right now.
I have a fantabulous bedroom, with two beds in it, cable television, and my own bathroom. This is a superb vacation for me.
Well, I don't have more amazing things to write, I think of all my crap I want to write while sitting out in the sun. So, I think I'm going to walk back to the private pool, get the house key from my Grandma (aka, big black grandma, since she can tan so good) who is roasting out in the sun, and then I'm just going to do some laundry, and sit on my butt and watch TV. Then watch the sunset from the view from the porch.
Have a fun time Chicago. Be jealous.

Florida. Is. The. Best.

Ah.
I absolutely love being here.
I'm staying in a "hoighty toighty" place called the Lexington Country Club, in southwest FL. I would share pictures, if I could. But it won't let me put any of them on the computer, so, I'm pretty much screwed.
Well, I'm sitting here in the Internet room, and I have to hurry writing this, because my Grandparents are taking me out to eat. I roasted in the sun for about a hour, and when I got back, I took a shower, and then noticed that I got a sunburn on my face. You can't see it, but boy, can I feel it. I should just come to realization that even spf 60 on my face, can't help me whatsoever in the sun. Which, sucks.
And now, I realize what it meant to actually go sun bathing. When I was younger, and I went to the pool with my Grandma in the suburbs of Chicago, I would watch older people sun bathe. I was like 5 years old, and I would sneak up, and just touch their toes real quick. They would look up, and I was always completely creeped out that they actually were awake. They looked so freakin' serene laying there.
But now! Ah, I laid there, with sunblock all over me. And I was still awake, but I laid there, listening to my ipod, and just rested my eyes from the sun. Let me say, that like the most freaking nicest thing in the world.
I already have gotten darker too. Its like the freckles that the sun has stamped on random parts of my body (shoulders, knees, arms, face) got actually just a tad more beige! Yay!
Let's hope when I get back to Chicago, I'll actually not make the poor snow men jealous.
Let me just say, I'm having a amazing time here. I love the warmth, I love the pools. I LOVE the sunsets. I love the palm trees.
I can't stand it. Okay, well more tomorrow :)