And let there be Religon, and Comedy.

Well. It's been three day's since I wrote my last post.
I'll start with the most important one. I had this big long discussion with my Grandmother about religion. She was talking to me about these feelings she was having about my Dad, and how she was disappointed with him. She was saying he has some sort of hate in him, that she can't understand, and she thinks it's because he is a christian. So, I got on my soap box. She said she was blaming God for his hate. I told her that anything in Christianity is only love and kindness. Nothing else. And that whatever had deceived my Dad, was completely not from God. And that blaming God for something he didn't do, well, wasn't right.
Okay. I'm sorry, but I get really sometimes completely pissed off at Christians because they always shove God down other people's throats. I have a ton of friends who aren't saved whatsoever. They know I'm a christian, I tell them, and my biggest rule is that I will not, shove it down their throats. Unless of course, they ask questions about it. Maybe it's wrong. But, I just see people who don't have God in their lives feel Christians need to get a life. And they would rather have friends like me. And you know, I actually have people ask me a ton of questions about God. I know I'm supposed to help them get to heaven. I find that VERY critically important. But, people won't want it. C'mon, wouldn't you be pissed if a Muslim, Hindu, atheist, etc., came up to you and gave you millions of books, prayed for you, and had all this different hocus pocus stuff on you?
Okay, I'll stop my rambling, on with the story. I gave her the example of this; Okay, let's say there are these parents. They have nothing but love in their hearts for their son. They only teach him the best of things. They only want the best of things for their son. The son grows up, his parents send him off to college. The son moves on. He grows up even more. 25 years later. The son murders somebody. People start pointing their fingers at the parents. Only blaming the parents. Not even looking at the son. They say the parents are the culprit. How dare the parents teach their son to kill that person?...
Okay. Well my Dad NEVER killed someone. I'm definitely not saying that. What I'm saying is the parents are representations of God. (I'm not sure how accurate this whole entire mess is, but it made sense in both our heads) Why should we blame God for my dad's actions? Nobody is perfect; Everyone makes mistakes. Isn't that we are taught through are whole entire lives? Maybe his mistake had messed him up. There is no reason whatsoever to blame God for it.
My Grandma is now a little bit more on my side. But I can still see she is very hesitant. She is a strong Catholic. I know she loves my Dad, she just feels like he wasn't that way before he became a Christian, why is he now...? Sort of thing. And I understand her point. I would be questioning the same thing. So, I have grown up in a extremely radical church. I have my stand points. I don't agree with everything my family and church say. I kinda just came up with something all in my head. And of course, the whole freaking entire world strives to prove themselves, well, right. Every religion thinks they are completely right in every single aspect. It's ridiculous. Okay... Done with religion.

Now I'm going to move on to my absolute crazy, yet embarrassing dream to...*drum roll please*, (you can laugh off your cheeks [yes, your butt cheeks]) I have a desire to be a comedian. I can just imagine it now. And, the sad thing is, I'm not funny at all. (unless you really know me, which can change your whole entire view) But I don't think you understand how my brain works. I am constantly making things up in my head. I joke around myself to make myself cheer up. Its absurd. Completely. So, how I'm learning how to do things is to watch Comedy Central, all the time. I have had it on in my bedroom since I got here. I will just watch the stand up crap ALL the time. I love learning about it. I love making people laugh. I already have my style. I practice in the mirror. Fine. Laugh it off. And whoever is reading don't go on to tell the whole world. But I would just adore it. I have enough freaking aspiration to do it... I really think I could too.
Okay. I'm done for now! Maybe more tomorrow! :)

"I don't like the idea of anyone not liking me....I don't even like the idea of Alkida not liking me."

Well.

Here I am again...what a surprise. I have now had officially 5 people telling me they read my blog every day. Why don't I just feel loved. I swam for a hour today, sun bathed for 3, my face is freckle-ey and my shoulders sunburnt so bad I want to cry. But, I'm good :) I'm not quite bored yet, but I appreciate calls., some random people called me up that I haven't talked to for a long time, and I had good chats with everyone on the poolside. Okay. So as you can see I don't obviously have the most interesting things to say.

uh, erm, tomorrow I'm going to buy scrabble to play with my Grandma?



Fine. I'm bored. I won't deny it. At least not to the people who I know is reading this. I'm downright, son-of-a-gun bored. Not terribly bored, but I have to stay here for two more weeks, with just sun bathing for 3 hours every day? I better get a hell of a lot more beige then usual. I really don't honestly miss Chicago. I've had enough crap there. At least here I can be more truthful to myself. Sure, I put on a happy smile for everyone that I know, in Chicago. I try to help everyone out, I be the "sweet missionary kid" the one people think I'm great... I thrive on that. I've been building up my "loveliness" since I was 9.

I'm exactly the opposite of my parents, not necessarily more mature. But in some ways, yes. As of, my Mom. She likes everyone to think she is absolutely perfect on the outside. She suffers a mild depression. She thrives for people to think the best of her. Don't know what "spirit" that is. No matter if it is just the "longing to be accepted" spirit.

Me on the other hand, I don't really feel like I'm not accepted with a lot of people. I have random people come up to me a lot, and say "Hey, you know my niece, (or son, or friends kid, or whatever) and they always talk to me saying that you're their best friend!" And all I can think is "Who the crap are they talking about?" Haha, I was watching the office the other day, and I liked what character Pam said, "I don't like the idea of anyone not liking me... I don't even like the idea of Alkida not liking me." In some way, I sort of feel like that. I don't dwell on it. But I hate when people don't really like me that much. Like, one they act really friendly with other people, and they seem like really fun people to be friends with, but they look at me like I'm the "ultimate bitch of chi-town." And all I can think is, "How can they actually feel like that about me/What the crap did I do?" But, yet, I don't want to have friends that I'm shy with. Where I have to "tip-toe" around them. Okay! Done with the rant. I'll shut up now.
.......

shriveled freckled tomato. Please God, no.

I am completely worried that when I am "Tanning" (a.k.a, cancer in a lawn chair) or sunburning/freckling, whatever you want to call it for me, I always think that i'll wake up, it'll be dark outside, and the burning will, well, start to burn. You know the people, the people who will fall asleep on those empty lawn chairs, and then wake up bright red, all over. What's the only word to say after that? Oh yeah, CRAP.
So, I try not to pass out in the nice, wonderful dry heat. I listen to my ipod, read books, drink. Whatever. Because, I know, that I'll just start drooling all over the plastic straps in just about five seconds flat if I close my eyes.
And, I apply spf 1 million to my face every five minutes. I'm not exaggerating whatsoever either. I'm terrified of getting a sunburn. I have had the worse cases of it imaginable. So, every time I feel like that burning sensation is crawling on that one square inch of my face, dab a whole big amount on right there.
And, it works. I was out in the sun for two hours. And, alas, I'm not a tomato! YAY.
Okay, now I'm going to shut up about my delightful sunburn. But you don't know how giddy it makes me, to not have it.

Yesterday I completely forgot about telling (whoever is reading) about my airplane trip. I flew with southwest, which I am completely happy with. I think this is like the #2 on my favorite airlines to fly on domestically. (United is #1, of course :D)
Nice comfy seats, they gave complimentary 2 drinks, a bag of chips, (and they'll come around again and ask if you want anymore!) and honey roasted nuts.
Of course I thought that was amazing. I mean, look at me. I like food. haha.
The sucky part was, was that they don't reserve a seat for you. Of course I'm like the last person to board. So I'm walking around like a stupid fool, trying to find a seat. I finally found one next to this overly nice elderly couple. My flight was 30 minutes early, and well, over all, my trip from Chicago to Fort. Myers was just amazing.
My trip so far, has been great. You think that you would be bored with just a couple of things to do here. (reading, watching TV, swimming, tanning etc.) But really, I find myself as the laziest person in the world. (Which I knew already in the back of my head) This is like my enjoyment to just lay around all day.
My grandparents rented out a condo, and they are right about 200 feet away from their pool. (what happens is that their 4 buildings, the more richer ones, have their own pool entirely., own key, own certain people) And then there is the "something island", which is just about a 15 minute walk away from our condo. They have a tiki bar, big pool, hot tubs, exercise rooms, library, and, the best of all, *triumphant music* the Internet room. Which I am in right now.
I have a fantabulous bedroom, with two beds in it, cable television, and my own bathroom. This is a superb vacation for me.
Well, I don't have more amazing things to write, I think of all my crap I want to write while sitting out in the sun. So, I think I'm going to walk back to the private pool, get the house key from my Grandma (aka, big black grandma, since she can tan so good) who is roasting out in the sun, and then I'm just going to do some laundry, and sit on my butt and watch TV. Then watch the sunset from the view from the porch.
Have a fun time Chicago. Be jealous.

Florida. Is. The. Best.

Ah.
I absolutely love being here.
I'm staying in a "hoighty toighty" place called the Lexington Country Club, in southwest FL. I would share pictures, if I could. But it won't let me put any of them on the computer, so, I'm pretty much screwed.
Well, I'm sitting here in the Internet room, and I have to hurry writing this, because my Grandparents are taking me out to eat. I roasted in the sun for about a hour, and when I got back, I took a shower, and then noticed that I got a sunburn on my face. You can't see it, but boy, can I feel it. I should just come to realization that even spf 60 on my face, can't help me whatsoever in the sun. Which, sucks.
And now, I realize what it meant to actually go sun bathing. When I was younger, and I went to the pool with my Grandma in the suburbs of Chicago, I would watch older people sun bathe. I was like 5 years old, and I would sneak up, and just touch their toes real quick. They would look up, and I was always completely creeped out that they actually were awake. They looked so freakin' serene laying there.
But now! Ah, I laid there, with sunblock all over me. And I was still awake, but I laid there, listening to my ipod, and just rested my eyes from the sun. Let me say, that like the most freaking nicest thing in the world.
I already have gotten darker too. Its like the freckles that the sun has stamped on random parts of my body (shoulders, knees, arms, face) got actually just a tad more beige! Yay!
Let's hope when I get back to Chicago, I'll actually not make the poor snow men jealous.
Let me just say, I'm having a amazing time here. I love the warmth, I love the pools. I LOVE the sunsets. I love the palm trees.
I can't stand it. Okay, well more tomorrow :)

Can I have your number? Mad Tv

haha, this video reminds me of the last couple of months, where this happens to me constantly...

Crazy dream, that i'm half embarrassed about, half amazed.

I had the most craziest dream last night. I woke up this morning at 5:30, from my dream, and couldn't fall back asleep till 6:30. Then, I had to wake up a hour later...So, I thought I should tell you about it, since it is completely wild.

Okay, well it started off with me making arrangements. I had a chunk of change that I got from my Aunt when she died, and currently am still trying to figure out where I should tithe it. But, I guess in my dream I decided that I wanted everyone at the prayer furnace to have extremely "fancy smancy" nice wine for communion, for only one service, (because that is all I could afford really) and in my dream, the prayer furnace was tons bigger then it really is...more like a opera hall or something, there was seats up high, that was on a slant, like a movie theatre. I don't really know how to describe it. Well, anyhow, I had arranged so people could get about half a glass of wine each, so they could drink only during communion.

Okay, so well it's fast forward a few days, and I walked into the prayer room, and noticed that Kristen Rodriguez was leading worship on the piano, her husband was was one of the singers, and so was her younger son. (Except he was like 6 in the dream) and so I sat down, I noticed everyone was holding big glass wine glasses in their hand, with gold engravings on the wine glass. Someone brought me a wine glass, and I noticed how full it was. So I started sipping it, and looked around, everyone was smiling and saying how amazing the wine was....So here is everyone, sitting down drinking their wine, out of their ginormous beautiful wine glasses, during this really great worship.

Okay, I don't know why I was sooo miffed about everyone having so much wine, but I really was angry in my heart. I kept on trying to figure out how only that small amount of money was able to pay for such rich, expensive wine, for so many people.

Okay, so after the worship, all of the sudden, (sorry guys, you're in this one) David screams on the top of his lungs, and runs down the aisle, (it was sloped, so he got some speed) and he ran down to the alter, and he fell flat on his face, then, he was followed by Johnnie, who did the same thing, then followed by Josh H...
Then all of the sudden, there was at least 3/4 of the church ALL ran, and followed them down the aisle, screaming, and fell flat on their faces on the floor of the alter.
Okay, so it wasn't like bad screaming. It was more like happy screaming? Everyone was smiling when they did that. It was more of a "freedom" song, you know? By Jason Upton?
Okay, fine whatever...

Soooo, that was my dream. :) I bet it has to have some sort of meaning.

"Missionary Kid" Woes, lol

So,

I was at the friendship center yesterday morning.

(I'm never there mornings, at least not usually.) We had to set up for the first ladies luncheon, so here we are getting couches/chairs from the back room, setting up for two hours for this thing. We were expecting over 40 people, so it was sorta tense at the friendship center, and even more tense for my Mom, who is the event's coordinator.

I unlocked the friendship center, got in to the trashed friendship center, where everything we set up the day before, was taken away. My Mom instantly threw a fit, (she is a stresser) I calmed her down (I hate when people freak out) and we started working.

Well, someone had this great idea that we should play bingo, and directed me to go online, and print out 40 bingo cards, and a call out sheet, so I google it, find it, start printing.

Then I find out, that I'm supposed to cut all these, perfectly. Sooo, I drag out the big office paper cutter, i'm sitting there, and people are just sitting there around me, having a nice easy conversation, when my Mom comes, saying "You know how those Mom's in the turn of the century would have lots of kids to raise up their farm? Well I had kids to run up the office..." Everyone laughed. Well, two hours later, I'm finished, with a big stack of beautiful bingo cards (if I say so myself) So, then I start greeting people, and we all sit down, pray, and start the chow-down.

After we eat, people talked for another hour, different parts of the table, people from the same country, or who can speak the same language. So I sat there as usual, kind of in the middle, of the Arabic and Hindi speaking table.

I have been learning Hindi since I was in 4th grade. And, evidently, I am not good whatsoever learning languages. (You would be surprised how much you can understand by just knowing simple words like: Milk, Water, You, How, Clothing, No problem, Leaving, Names, etc. etc.) Lol, but I'm still only getting half of the gist, which is a definite pickles to the highest moment, especially when people know that you have been learning it for that long.

Well, I'm completely absorbed, listening intently to the Hindi conversation, when all the sudden I look over the the Arabic speakers, and I realize they're completely staring at me, laughing.

I'm not one of those over-sensitive people guys. I don't usually think that much of it. But, you know what? They were totally staring at me. And it wasn't cool. Especially since I don't understand them, whatsoever.

So, I look at them, and they go on to say that they think my scarf is "interesting" and "not that flattering."

The probably didn't mean it that way, well, I know they didn't mean it like that.. But this is why I have a problem with honesty. Honesty hurts... lol

SO I go on through the day, and finally 4:30 comes around. Homework Center. I was helping Hajira, and Fatima, and one of the moody students was helping Ahmed, we were all at the same table.

So, I start with Fatima, who has to draw this random picture in a Roald Dahl book. She can't do it and Ahmed tells Fatima she is ugly.

"Be quiet Ahmed, please sit down and keep to yourself and do your homework." I tell Ahmed.
"Let your face be quiet Evie." He said.

I ignore him, (as usual) and keep on helping Fatima. Of course, the moody student doesn't do anything, and I was hoping that he would say something to Ahmed, to shut him up. Ahmed goes on.

"Hajira has a mustache!!!!" He shouted.

Okay the whole room echo's, and so for this 9 year old, it's just a little bit traumatic. Everyone turned around, and looked at Hajira. The moody student looked at me. Like he wasn't sure what to do. I didn't say anything, hoping that he would tell Ahmed to shut up and concentrate on his homework.

Nothing.

"Ahmed, tell Hajira you are sorry." I told him, sighing. Hajira looked like she was going to cry.

he mumbled a apology.

Meh.

Well. That was the first 20 minutes of homework center.

After homework center, I walked out. Shami came up to me asking if I could help her with her new itouch.

So, the next hour, is me helping her through her hard times with a itouch. Do you know how wrong it is to get a itouch for your first ever mp3 player for a 45-50 years old who barely knows english?

Blech.

2 hours later, we started getting ready to get home. We got home at 9:00 at night. And, we didn't even use the bingo cards. :(

I don't mind being a missionary kid whatsoever. I'm not saying that I hate it, but I hate the absolute crap that we have to go through, which nobody ever notices.

Okay. The evie rant is over.

Friends

Lately, I feel I am completely losing track of my friends. I can't seem to juggle all of my friends at once, and then on top of that with my secretary job, and school, and now I think lots of my friends are kind of pissed off at me, because I'm not "listening" to them/hanging out with them, like usual. The other day Margie called me and told me problems she was having with one of her friends down there in Texas, and how this friend is kinda always really pissed that Margie never calls her, or sometimes Margie is just way too busy to even hang out with her. And so then, the friend feels like they shouldn't be friends anymore.

Almost like the crazy boyfriend/girlfriend stalker effect.

So, Marg went on to tell me that she was really happy that I never act like that, and that I'm pretty much cool with whatever. Which, almost makes me feel bad, because I feel like I'm not doin' my job... haha, not like that. I just feel like I don't usually care, is because I'm really busy with other stuff, and I never really notice when she doesn't call me, or we don't talk for a whole week straight.

I have been best friends with Margie since I was 8 years old, then she moved to Texas when I was 10/11. And I have still been able to keep in touch with her all this time. We talk on a average of 3 hours a day, (and don't worry, we have mobile-mobile, so it's all free :D) and we're still each others best friends.
I don't know how it works, but it does, so its great. Except, we do have a sort of big fighting problemo....It's not that bad when I'm in Texas, (it's because we have more freedom when I'm there, haha) But it's absolutely terrible when we are both in Chicago... so for Texas I will go.

Also, one more thing.
(here is another Margie story again) I was telling her how I was sort of embarrassed about my hiper self. I turned into one of those girls. You know the ones, the ones who are hiper about God?

"Omg! Jesus has worked so much in my life! GOD IS GOOD!!! WHOO!!"

I'm totally for Jesus. I just am not like that. I am not the type of person who does that at all... (which probably isn't necessarily a good thing. lol)

I was telling her how on Sunday that I turned into that, after church, when I did a set with Paula.... and how I was completely creeped out by that.

"You know that is a good thing Evie, right?" She said chuckling.

Why does it make me almost scared when I turn into "one of those girls"? So, here I am, thinking all about this, and I have figured it out.
I have been really hurt by girls like that. They act like good christian girls in front of other people, but then turn around, and pretty much, act like they are way too good for me.
Therefore, "acting" Godly, but then completely two faced. Or, two timing God. Or, two timing people.
Maybe I should act like that, but I refuse to two time people, and God. You really got to take care of both... isn't it love your neighbor as yourself?

Well, obviously love God more then yourself, or your neighbor, but I think you get the point.
Just the annoyances of Evie... haha

Cutting my own hair = Releasement

Well,
I know, I just posted a new post, But I just also wanted to mention my wondrous moment in time where I cut my own hair. I have always been just a little bit too freaked out to be able to do it myself.

But I did it! I was sick (fine, ginormously JEALOUS) of hearing people talking on how they cut their own hair.
So I did it, and it felt amazing, Maybe I cut it a little bit shorter then I usually like it, and now it doesn't look right straightened, but I like it :)

So! Yay. That's it :)

And I thought I was convinced...

Well. This is going to be incredibly random.
I was completely absolutely convinced that I hated blogging. I always thought maybe because it was attached to journaling,(I really don't like journaling at all) I mean, I really like the idea of journaling, but I get way to sick of it. Blogging, is just, way easier. It seems like writing takes a long time. But, I can type up to 78 wpm,.. so its like a revelation... haha.
Also, I'm amazed at the times I have been viewed on my page, (17 times, shut up) in the last three days that I created this thing. (doesn't help that I advertised it all over facebook on my status, haha)

Well, anyhoo, I was talking to Margie on the phone, and as usual we were talking all about our dreams, and I realized something, I ALWAYS have the same people in the background of my dreams. Its not like they are the main focus of it, but they are in the background, just looking/watching me. And it's people that I don't even really think about during the day, I'm just friends with them...and I think it's actually kinda creepy. I wonder what it means...oh well.

Well. That's it. Not that amazing...

...and let there be drunk people...

I just got back from the prayer furnace; and thought I should write somethings before I pass-out. I really had a amazing time at Jessica's set tonight.

I have a okay singing voice in my personal opinion. Not that great. But, hey, at least I passed the audition.

Well anyhoo, me and Jessica were completely alone tonight on our set. It was only Jess on the piano, and me as a singer.

Right before the set, my pastor's wife came up to me and gave me some encouragement. Which, i'll take as much as I can get!

But seriously guys, I had a AMAZING time on that set. I felt really free. My voice was at just that perfect pitch I like, and during the set, I realized how much I have grown since when I first started the set about four months ago.

I could actually harmonize a little bit better, I could sing louder, I had more rhythm then usual, and I could actually sing a little bit higher, and I even sang more; and knew all the words for the spontaneous singing.

YAY. Okay, if you were actually in the room while I was singing, and thought I stunk. Please.

Keep this info entirely to yourself. I really don't want to hear it. I know you might think that it is going to "help" me, but It doesn't. It actually just tears me apart..

Okay. Well, I was thinking about it, and I might add that after the set, I came out, and Patrick and Barbara were COMPLETELY DRUNK in the holy spirit.

Which, if you aren't a "radical" christian, might be very hard for you to understand. I really don't suggest that I explain it, (please ask your fellow "radical" neighbor for the right "definition") And, they were darn right funny. I actually took pictures from the car after I dragged them from the now-closed prayer furnace. It's really dark, and really fuzzy, but you can tell that Patrick has
officially fallen down in the snow, (on the right) and Barbara is crazy out of it, holding on to the door. It truly was great...haha, okay, well it's late... good night :)

...I have no life, so I should create one.

Well, here I am at the friendship center, waiting to leave for prayer furnace, and as usual, bored out of my mind. I won't tell you how many times I have refreshed my facebook "home" page. I'm out of luck. I have no more new notifications.
So. Here I am, on blogspot. Hoping to come up with something utterly AMAZING to write.

I don't know whats wrong with my blog, or what. I can't seem to find a template that will ACTUALLY work. I have tried and tried again, tried switching from the new blogger, to the old one, and tried different sites.
So, I have finally given up completely. I'm just going to use one of the ol' crummy blogspot ones. I found some really cool ones. But it just won't seem to let me do anything with it. Not even the ones recommended by blogger.
Then after all my frustrations, I got yelled at for using the "wrong" computer. Which I didn't even know that I wasn't supposed to use. So, I went to bed angry, and fell asleep listening to Greg Laswell from my ipod.

I'm sort of excited about going to Florida on the 2nd, (if I go) I'll be so bored maybe I can get up to 2 blog posts a day. Which I'm sure nobody is excited about since I haven't had anybody look at this yet... haha.
Okay. Well you can stop reading my lameness now.
Tomorrow!

My first blog post

Today I start my first blog.

I have been meaning to do this for a long time;I previously have already started two blogs before this, I have had a myspace, a xanga, and 15 unfinished journals. I now have a facebook, but that is more for social networking.
The reason I have failed so many times on any kind of "Journaling" or "Blogging" or any sort, is because I get completely sick of it. I absolutely love writing things, but I really just can't journal all my thoughts. I want this place to be a place where I don't feel like I absolutely have to write something amazing, or long, every single day. But, yet, that's always what I turn it into every day.
Well, I think that is all I will write tonight. So, hopefully more tomorrow :)