Like I should be.

I babysat today.
And drank coffee today.
And edited for two hours today for Marg.
And emailed people today.

And I'm getting annoyed. Friday was really hard for me., Nothing I could probably write about online. Or, anywhere for that matter. But it's something that made me doubt God. Last February. THAT ONE TIME. During the amazing service, was all I could think about. All I could see. And it made me depressed that the ONE time I could actually engage, I was completely crushed by that fact. Right ahead of me.

Ever happened to you? Ever feel like God completely let you down? I think everyone has. And as for Friday's service, (if I understood it right) So did Jesus. But, if I think about it, brokenness is good.
Great things come out of brokenness. *Brokenness sometimes never gets healed, because some people don't want it to. What goes up in the brokenness scale, must come down. I hope one day, I won't be like the other people. I hope to lift people up. And never bring anyone down. Or judge their gifts of hearing God by examples. (There is no "What goes down must come back up" saying) But I just wished people would stop asking me, oh so bluntly, "Your not over that yet?" Like I should be.



*Sometimes I wonder if I don't want healing. But yet I do, slightly? (if that makes sense) I still have my crumpled up tin-can heart, that sometimes I'm way too good at hiding. Which i'm glad for. Much better then throwing that tin-can heart at other people.