Torture Itch.

Okay.

Well, I have been tanning for the last the couple of days. I got, a slight, SLIGHT, sunburn on all over my back, and on my stomach.



I have never had such a terrible ITCH. I don't care how embarrassing this post is going to be...(It's not) It's just that, I had such a BIG problem with this today.



I have sympathy/compassion/whatever-you-want-to-call-it, for ANYBODY with any sort of itchy-scratchiness on them, as of this moment.



Okay, well last night, I literally had about two hours of sleep...I was up with me just in a weird backwards position, scratching the top of my back.



Today, I couldn't go without 5 seconds of not, well, scratching my lower-back.

I figured out this great remedy though -completely on accident- I was a little more desperate then I thought, and decided to put vicks vapor rub, (you know that crap you put on your chest to help you breath better?) It has completely, stopped the itch.

I feel spectacular.
I should tell the "New Modern Remedy's" People...If they had anything like that...Haha.

Alterations to the JOYS

Ahh. It's a beautiful day outside (the one time I like the heat.) I feel like walking for miles upon miles. I went outside for a couple hours with Jessica today so we could do the alterations for her wedding dress, at Joe's Cleaners.
It was a nice Russian lady there who kept on saying "You look like a QUEEN!" to Jess in a thick accent. She was nice.

I found out two days ago Aidan isn't coming to the wedding. :( Which sucks...I haven't seen him since Justin and Ashley's wedding. I was looking forward to seeing him again.


I think I want to see the movie The Soloist...I was going to go with some friends, but he and she both got grounded. So now i'm screwed.

The joys of being a teenager.

I hate being late... :/

We picked our music, and found this AMAZING person... Peggy Lee. :) Super 50's. I love it. I think if I ever get married, I would like to have this cute kind of music at my wedding for the reception too....

I think Jess is going to play this for the cutting of the cake. I'm excited for her wedding :)

The day was mostly spent sitting in terrible traffic. I was late almost everywhere I went, and I hated that...I did a rushed piano lesson with Liz, and then I tried doing a worship set. Liz wanted to join me, but I really hate doing sets with other people, if I'm playing the piano... I wish I could just burst out in perfect music, with no mistakes, and then when you have another beginner with you, they do they're own thing while you do your own thing... super difficult.

I'm getting really sick of my voice. I wish I could ultimately just get where I'm-looking-to-go instead of what I am right now. But, tons of people suck for the first couple of years. Just...eh.

Oh. Tanning.

I have sunburn on my back.

And It BURRRNS. (don't laugh)

I do.

PrOs & CoNs

Well, I got back from the tanning salon a long time ago, but I just wanted to write my thoughts on the first time of me actually getting a tan.

Cons:
1.I had no idea I was claustrophobic. That thing, well, yeah, it's a coffin, a big, blue, light bulb coffin.

2. The glasses. There is freaking warnings EVERYWHERE that if you take off your tanning glasses... you will pretty much be blinded, pretty- lickens-quickly. I'm laying there, and I felt like my glasses kept falling off. Scary momentos.

3. Cancer! lol, i'm only doing this for 9 days (until the wedding) but I have Wayhayy too much skin cancer in my family. Scary thought.

Pros:
1. I got pretty amazing freckles already for 5 minutes of this. If I do this, every single day for 9 days, I'll be covered. (By-the-way, sunburn wise, I didn't get any! I only got some mild redness on my face, which went away in about a hour.)

2. The ability to make you look thinner! Chubby/blubbery cheeks+Tan/freckles=High cheek-bones/Thinness!


So. There we go. Tanning galore!

Tanning Salon?

My sister Sarah has convinced me and my other sister Jessica, to go tanning.
Sarah, is the ultimate tanner, and she takes from my Dad's side, who, well, they just tan amazing. But, me and Jessica, are, the whitest of the whites. We're both redheads, and we sunburn like out of the wazoo.
With Jessica's wedding coming up on May 2nd, We do need to get a little more tan. Jess doesn't have as many bad tan lines as I do from my trip to Florida, (It's really funny actually, I have "freckle lines" from my bathing suit that is completely white, right next to a completely-covered-in-freckles on my back)

This is my first real "tanning salon experience" and frankly, I'm freaked out. I'm scared i'm going to come out like a shriveled up tomato.

I sunburn too easily. I feel like the worry-wart of a mother who wrings her hands, exclaiming: "Oh dear, oh dear, that's not good, not good at all"

So yes. I'm leaving in 15 minutes to L.A Tan. How excited art me? So, if you're coming to the wedding, don't laugh at the red-and-orange-teal-parachute walking down the aisle.
Haha.

"Oh you sons, oh you daughters, of the living God, you have a purpose, you have a place, you belong, you belong."

Eh.

So I have discovered, that I, am, turning into! DUN DUN DUNNN, bible GIRL!

lol. Remember how before, when I said that I was getting terribly bored with God? Well, hasn't happened lately! I have been super into proverbs lately. I could probably sit with two pages of proverbs, (or proverbabobs, as I call it) for a couple of hours.

My bible is getting a little bit screwed up with all the notes, underlining that I have done with online bible studies. I can't believe I'm turning into this.
Ultimately it's not a bad thing, it's just different from how I've been. I was getting SO dry, so shriveled up with God.

It could of been a little more disastrous then I thought of at the time.

But yet, I don't think I'm going to turn into that hiper bible girl who only wears Jesus is my Husband T-shirts, and wearing bibles-and-roses sterling silver necklaces.

I don't have the energy for that.

So, I'm getting a little bit closer. Just a little...and it's good.

The Ideal time to be born...

I wish I was born in the mid 30's.
The Great Depression started in October, of 1929. It officially ended with Pearl Harbor, (December, 1941) The beginning of of WWII.

Which, ultimately, would mean that, (saying I was born in 1935) I would be 6 years old.

I would grow up, without much technology (which would be nice) and in the 50's go to college, in the 60's start a family, (or not) and, well, haha probably be dead right now.

I don't want to go through this crap with the economy, or people saying it's the "End of the world" I don't want to hear different people here, and that they are the anti-Christ. Or, for that matter, WHATEVER.

Frankly, I'm freaking out about that. I don't want to hear about all this CRAP I have to go through, I know however wrong it sounds, I like my world in safety. In God's crook of his arm... Why can't that happen?

IF I was born in the 30's, life would be pretty good. It was a WONDERFUL time for you to be living. (if you lived in America) I mean, there was no wars that actually hurt US personally. The invincible USA.

Our Country (our WORLD) is in a downturn. It's freakin' scary. Obviously, I was born in the time for a reason. I know that. But, boy, does it SUCK.

Pretty much everything is just going wrong. We're too smart/too dumb for our own little heads. All at the same time. We all think we're right. It's all pushing and shoving. The immaturity of this all!
I like to pretend that I'm living in this perfect world, and that everything is handy-dandy, and that everyone is just making up all this different crap about the economy.

Ah. It's a lovely thought. :)

But alas, I'm a dork. And it all comes towards me like wind-from-the chimney. And I'm back in the world. And it still sucks.

We're all screwed anyways. We're all still going to die. Just look around, everyone in about 70 years, is going to be D-E-D. Dead.

I hate that thought....

Titus. (You sicko) THE BIBLE.

Those pictures are of my favorite bird of Jessica's batch of parakeets (there is about eight of them, from laying all those eggs) I love him. He's really quiet, and just likes sleeping in a scarf all day long. His name is Titus... haha.

The prayer furnace.,

I'm super tired right now.
But, I have to stay awake until I leave off to the friendship center. So, -in order for me to stay awake- I'll write. Nothing amazing is happening on facebook. What else am I supposed to do?

Yesterday was fun. I spent most of the day at the furnace. I really love being a piano teacher to Liz. (aka, 'The Lizards') I see how much she has improved over the 3 weeks. Yesterday we practiced the song My name is Graven, For about 30 minutes. I felt bad for the people in back because it was pretty much just the two chords, over and over. But at the end of it, she was doing it perfectly with BOTH hands, thank you very much. :)
In the prayer room I had a good time too. I laid down on the floor and just read my bible, and underlined everything that stood out to me. I really meditated on it. And really asked God what those things meant. About 30 minutes later, and 1 1/2 pages later, I was done.
Then me and Johnnie looked at the ginormous map on the wall, and pointed to the places where we've been, and where we want to go.

Yeah.
That was my exciting day at the furnace. Whoop dee doo. I'm going there again at 4, today. :)

The CTA

I'm sitting at the very quiet friendship center, and really bored. Today was kind of long (er then usual) since all the days lately have been way too short.
Today I went to one of those tea parties things downtown, my parents decided to take the cta, which was one of the most funniest things in the world. My parents never go on the cta just about ever, and they just think if you go on there the first thing that will happen to you is you'll, A: Get shot/get pulled a knife on. B: Get immediately raped.
And to see them go up to the little candy shop area and ask to buy their transit cards, was pretty funny too.
Now, I don't have tons of experience with the cta. I go on it maybe once a month, so I'm not a completely dud in the area.
My parents are way too over protective, I'm not allowed to go alone, It's okay if I go with at least two people my age, who know where they're going.
Still, my parents haven't been on a Chicago train probably since 2003.

Lately, I have been too bored with my life. I want some sort of excitement., Like I said in my previous post, I want something spontaneous to happen. All my friends are going somewhere for the summer, or have new boyfriends/girlfriends, and well, frankly, I'm left in the dust.

I know I might be going to Indiana this summer, but that's still for only a month pretty much. lol. Okay. I'm done.

RED HEAD DANCE MOVES (stolen from carolina girl)

this is sooo freaking amazing.

Nothing like smelling dog poop at 3 in the morning.

Well. It was pitch black in my room, and I heard my Dog's little nails clinking on my hardwood floor going back and forth. I decided to turn on my light, where I found out my Dog had taken a crap, on my floor.

I was actually pretty cheerful (which is weird for me, because I am NOT a morning person) and got up and let my Dog go outside and (I could tell she was sick, I wasn't going to blame her, if she had to go, she HAD TO GO, she would never poop in my room for any other reason) I got a plastic bag and a rag and warm soapy water and fixed it, and then sprayed room with half a bottle of febreeze and hairspray.

It worked.

So. That really is my "story of the day."

There isn't a bunch left for me to write about, except, I'm hoping for something spontaneous to happen over the weekend. I would just love something exciting to happen. Just once. Not Bad spontaneous, but seriously, like, amazing spontaneous....lol.
Let's see what happens. :)

Easter and New Family

Easter was good.
I don't know why, but I always expect way too much of holidays, which leads me to be kind of "eh" about the whole thing.
Which sucks.

I talked to Sarah, Matt (my cousin) and Sarah's boyfriend Ruben about the things I have been dealing with. Now I understand how great it is to talk to Family. (Even though Ruben really isn't family, but I still think he is pretty amazing) I mean, my parents are hard to talk with, but for them, I felt like there were no judgements.
It was nice.

This was really the first time I met Ruben, and I think he is great for Sarah,...I thought it was hilarious how he was just waiting for my Dad to lay on the questions. I was surprised too. Usually my Dad goes a little bit crazy on new boyfriends.
Only 3 more days on my fast! I'm staying strong.

Oh, also, do you remember how I was saying I "was bored with God"? Lately I haven't.. It's been super nice. I'm, well, super excited...

Hmm...

Like I should be.

I babysat today.
And drank coffee today.
And edited for two hours today for Marg.
And emailed people today.

And I'm getting annoyed. Friday was really hard for me., Nothing I could probably write about online. Or, anywhere for that matter. But it's something that made me doubt God. Last February. THAT ONE TIME. During the amazing service, was all I could think about. All I could see. And it made me depressed that the ONE time I could actually engage, I was completely crushed by that fact. Right ahead of me.

Ever happened to you? Ever feel like God completely let you down? I think everyone has. And as for Friday's service, (if I understood it right) So did Jesus. But, if I think about it, brokenness is good.
Great things come out of brokenness. *Brokenness sometimes never gets healed, because some people don't want it to. What goes up in the brokenness scale, must come down. I hope one day, I won't be like the other people. I hope to lift people up. And never bring anyone down. Or judge their gifts of hearing God by examples. (There is no "What goes down must come back up" saying) But I just wished people would stop asking me, oh so bluntly, "Your not over that yet?" Like I should be.



*Sometimes I wonder if I don't want healing. But yet I do, slightly? (if that makes sense) I still have my crumpled up tin-can heart, that sometimes I'm way too good at hiding. Which i'm glad for. Much better then throwing that tin-can heart at other people.

Tattoos and Passover

Eh. Well... People are still downstairs, talking after the passover dinner. (Btw, if you didn't know, I'm not Jewish, it's just that my Mom has a strange addiction to Jewish stuff, so there we go, haha)

Well. I have been actually thinking about this for a long time. I want to get a tattoo. I really don' t know what I want, but somewhere where I know if I get really old and wrinkly, or gain 900 lbs, that It will still look okay. I have decided that the best possible place was on the top part of my back, or the front of my shoulders, (like near my collar bone, or like the pic) And then, it's a matter of pain tolerance. I have just about the lowest amount of, well, pain tolerance. I can't stand it. So, tattoos that are small, is pretty much a must.

So, since I like the idea of birds (and like the picture kind-of-birds) I was looking up pictures on google images, trying to find bird tattoos that go across my back, and shoulders (because that is ultimately what I would want) But then, the smallness of the tattoos in the picture, is kinda cool, and not that noticeable....Well, I think I might actually go forward with it. I guess, I mean, I have just about 2 1/2 more years until I can do it, lol. But It would be good. What do you think I should do?